Our escort, Dr. Mullinax, said that it was our job to get as much out of the veterans as we can. We are to write down, record, remember as much as they are willing to share so that their story can live forever.
New blog!
11 years ago
Saturday, December 17, 2011
An Adventure of a Lifetime
I promised myself that as soon as I got home from break I would begin researching for my trip to the Philippines. I am honored to accompany World War II veterans back to the Philippines to follow the Batan Death March.
Our escort, Dr. Mullinax, said that it was our job to get as much out of the veterans as we can. We are to write down, record, remember as much as they are willing to share so that their story can live forever.
Our escort, Dr. Mullinax, said that it was our job to get as much out of the veterans as we can. We are to write down, record, remember as much as they are willing to share so that their story can live forever.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
One Week
Sometimes I get tired of just existing. By existing I mean doing the same thing over and over. Every morning my alarm clock goes off at 5:45am. I usually wake up at 5:37am and sigh with happiness at the fact that I get to sleep 8 more minutes. Then my alarm clock goes off and I lay there thinking about how much I don't want to get up for the next 6 minutes. Then I get up, go to the bathroom, get dressed, brush my teeth, put my make-up on, make my bed, check my email, check my back-pack, and head to breakfast at 6:25am. Then I leave breakfast at 6:45 and walk to work to unlock the doors for my co-workers at 6:50am. Every morning this is what happens. Well, almost every morning. This morning I ate oatmeal in my room so my routine was slightly disturbed.
I watched this movie just now called "One Week". It's about a guy, Ben, who finds out he has cancer and is terminal. He buys a motorcycle and heads to the Pacific, leaving his fiance and family behind. I loved the movie. I'm not sure why.
I read in my nursing book the other day that it's important for nurses to avoid things that put them in a negative mood. And it's not that I'm in negative mood, I'm just contemplative, which usually results in me going to bed sad.
I wonder, why do I do the same thing every day? Why do I always get up at 5:45? Why do I love routine, yet hate it so much? I can't answer these questions. I have no idea what I would if someone asked me these things.
One day God is going to kick me in the butt with something that was not in my planner and that does not fit into my schedule and I'm going to realize how ultimately God is in control of my life. I know He is, I just get caught up in routine and then just about this time every semester, I get sick of my routine and wish for something else. I'm tired of just existing. I want to live every day as if it were my last. I want to live every day thinking that if this were my last chance to glorify God here on earth, what would I do? How would I be significant in my 'oh so short' life?
Micro is calling my name... Bed will come after that. :-)
I love you, friends...
This song was in the movie. It's beautiful. :-)
I watched this movie just now called "One Week". It's about a guy, Ben, who finds out he has cancer and is terminal. He buys a motorcycle and heads to the Pacific, leaving his fiance and family behind. I loved the movie. I'm not sure why.
I read in my nursing book the other day that it's important for nurses to avoid things that put them in a negative mood. And it's not that I'm in negative mood, I'm just contemplative, which usually results in me going to bed sad.
I wonder, why do I do the same thing every day? Why do I always get up at 5:45? Why do I love routine, yet hate it so much? I can't answer these questions. I have no idea what I would if someone asked me these things.
One day God is going to kick me in the butt with something that was not in my planner and that does not fit into my schedule and I'm going to realize how ultimately God is in control of my life. I know He is, I just get caught up in routine and then just about this time every semester, I get sick of my routine and wish for something else. I'm tired of just existing. I want to live every day as if it were my last. I want to live every day thinking that if this were my last chance to glorify God here on earth, what would I do? How would I be significant in my 'oh so short' life?
Micro is calling my name... Bed will come after that. :-)
I love you, friends...
This song was in the movie. It's beautiful. :-)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Failure and Strength To Rise Up
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
"Headaches and microbiology are synonymous"
I was trying to fill out my micro study guide for our quiz Friday but my head is hurting too much to focus. Each Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, at about 3:30 in the afternoon, I get a headache. I believe it's the result of my micro lab. Which I love... but looking in microscopes is not good for my eyes and therefore I get headaches. Yuck. Usually my headaches go away in a couple of hours, but today it didn't and I just took ibuprofen to help reduce the pounding. Headaches are awful things. I've been working on my DOTW, which is streptococcal pharyngitis, rheumatic fever, acute glomerulonephritus, and diphtheria. The first three are all related, which makes my life a lot easier. :-) I would tell you about them, but I'm sure that would bore you.
In my character of nursing class they have been pushing the thought of Critical Thinking into our heads. Do you know how hard it is to think critically? Oh boy. It's overwhelmingly scary. It just takes time and lots of practice, which is something I'm not very good at. I like to see results quickly and acurately. But I have learned that to get acurate results, you have to use the "elements of critical thinking". I never knew there was so much out there on this subject. Of course I knew how important it was for nurses to be on their toes and assess the patient, but never like this. Wow... But you know what? I'm so thankful our professors do this because it will make us great nurses. The process to get there is just a little difficult. :-)
This Friday I'm meeting with my adivisor to talk about time management and how to handle life along with nursing school. Let me just say that becoming a nurse would be a thousand times easier if I didn't have life. But then, what would be the point? Exactly. My life will slowly evolve into nursing as long as I pursue that as my career. I've struggling with time management for some reason and I'm hoping my advisor, Dr. Williams, will be able to help me come up with some ideas on how to handle it better. I just really want a social life and I realize that I will never be able to take an evening off in the middle of the week and be able to hang out with friends, but sometimes I just really want too. Fighting that urge is hard. Usually I make up for it by inviting my nursing buddies over to study with me so we can at least hang out with each other. It's hard. And I don't want to complain, but I find myself doing so more often than not. What I've noticed myself doing is trying to multitask everything and I end up being scatter brained and don't do the best I can. Which bugs me to high heaven! It should NOT be that way. If I want to be a successful nurse, I need to try to my hardest to do the best I can in the time allotted to me. This is something I want to talk with my advisor about as well. Nurses have so much to learn in 4 years. Those 4 years go by so quickly and it is so easy to cram things in for a test and the second you write the answer down, it's gone. I don't want to be like that. I want to be a good nurse.
Pray for me friends. I'm struggling right now. I love you.
In my character of nursing class they have been pushing the thought of Critical Thinking into our heads. Do you know how hard it is to think critically? Oh boy. It's overwhelmingly scary. It just takes time and lots of practice, which is something I'm not very good at. I like to see results quickly and acurately. But I have learned that to get acurate results, you have to use the "elements of critical thinking". I never knew there was so much out there on this subject. Of course I knew how important it was for nurses to be on their toes and assess the patient, but never like this. Wow... But you know what? I'm so thankful our professors do this because it will make us great nurses. The process to get there is just a little difficult. :-)
This Friday I'm meeting with my adivisor to talk about time management and how to handle life along with nursing school. Let me just say that becoming a nurse would be a thousand times easier if I didn't have life. But then, what would be the point? Exactly. My life will slowly evolve into nursing as long as I pursue that as my career. I've struggling with time management for some reason and I'm hoping my advisor, Dr. Williams, will be able to help me come up with some ideas on how to handle it better. I just really want a social life and I realize that I will never be able to take an evening off in the middle of the week and be able to hang out with friends, but sometimes I just really want too. Fighting that urge is hard. Usually I make up for it by inviting my nursing buddies over to study with me so we can at least hang out with each other. It's hard. And I don't want to complain, but I find myself doing so more often than not. What I've noticed myself doing is trying to multitask everything and I end up being scatter brained and don't do the best I can. Which bugs me to high heaven! It should NOT be that way. If I want to be a successful nurse, I need to try to my hardest to do the best I can in the time allotted to me. This is something I want to talk with my advisor about as well. Nurses have so much to learn in 4 years. Those 4 years go by so quickly and it is so easy to cram things in for a test and the second you write the answer down, it's gone. I don't want to be like that. I want to be a good nurse.
Pray for me friends. I'm struggling right now. I love you.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Mighty Is The Power of The Crown-Chris Tomlin
I'm listening to that song right now. I love it.
It has been an exhausting week. So much to do and so little time to do it all in. God has been faithful and good through it all. Even though it feels like I've had to do a bazillion things, I have had moments to sit and reflect on God and what He has done in my life this week.
I have a friend who's little boy died of brain cancer last year. I was talking with her the other night about it and just by hearing her words about her little boys journey, I could tell how much his story glorified God. I truly believe he is up in heaven, maybe hanging out with my sister. :-) It's a happy thought.
It's been a rough day. In my first class, human development, we talked about development (haha, obviously) and how important it is to do certain things when raising a child. My attention to my teacher quickly faded as I thought of Gary and raising him with my sisters. We did everything wrong. Yet Gary is an amazing little boy. He's healthy and smart and sweet. It really is a miracle that we didn't stunt his growth in some way or another. :-)
But I kept wondering what he would be like if Amy had been given the opportunity to raise him herself. I try not to look back on those things because I know that this is God's plan and he has been more glorified through this plan than he would of the other, but I can't help wondering what it would be like if Amy were still her.
Anyway, my friend. She would play this song for her little boy every night before he went to bed. He was 8 years old when he went to heaven.
My friend told me that her little boy loved this song.
God is good to us.
Justine, I have to tell you a story. :-)
I have friend who is struggling in life right now. I asked my friend to go to a bible study/worship service with me this week. I was hoping that it would influence my friend in some way or another. I think it did, but as the evening was ending, we happened upon a person that my friend is struggling with. Part of me wanted to ask God, "Why tonight God? I thought you were working in this situation?". And now I realize that He was. My friend and I parted, silently and awkwardly. The rest of the evening I fel this huge burden upon my heart to witness to this person, yet I had absolutely no idea how. But as I thought more on it, I remembered a post you put up Justine, about Psalm 139. So, I sent those verses to my friend, hoping that maybe, just maybe, God would speak through them and put Light in my friend's heart. I anxiously waited a day and a half for a reply. This morning it came and I saw a glimmer of God.
Pray for my friend. I'm not naming names out of respect, but please just remember "Christi's friend" in prayer.
Also, pray for my friend that lost her little boy. She is healing and God is working in her life.
And pray for my family, as tomorrow is September 10th. and the day we lost Amy.
It has been an exhausting week. So much to do and so little time to do it all in. God has been faithful and good through it all. Even though it feels like I've had to do a bazillion things, I have had moments to sit and reflect on God and what He has done in my life this week.
I have a friend who's little boy died of brain cancer last year. I was talking with her the other night about it and just by hearing her words about her little boys journey, I could tell how much his story glorified God. I truly believe he is up in heaven, maybe hanging out with my sister. :-) It's a happy thought.
It's been a rough day. In my first class, human development, we talked about development (haha, obviously) and how important it is to do certain things when raising a child. My attention to my teacher quickly faded as I thought of Gary and raising him with my sisters. We did everything wrong. Yet Gary is an amazing little boy. He's healthy and smart and sweet. It really is a miracle that we didn't stunt his growth in some way or another. :-)
But I kept wondering what he would be like if Amy had been given the opportunity to raise him herself. I try not to look back on those things because I know that this is God's plan and he has been more glorified through this plan than he would of the other, but I can't help wondering what it would be like if Amy were still her.
Anyway, my friend. She would play this song for her little boy every night before he went to bed. He was 8 years old when he went to heaven.
My friend told me that her little boy loved this song.
God is good to us.
Justine, I have to tell you a story. :-)
I have friend who is struggling in life right now. I asked my friend to go to a bible study/worship service with me this week. I was hoping that it would influence my friend in some way or another. I think it did, but as the evening was ending, we happened upon a person that my friend is struggling with. Part of me wanted to ask God, "Why tonight God? I thought you were working in this situation?". And now I realize that He was. My friend and I parted, silently and awkwardly. The rest of the evening I fel this huge burden upon my heart to witness to this person, yet I had absolutely no idea how. But as I thought more on it, I remembered a post you put up Justine, about Psalm 139. So, I sent those verses to my friend, hoping that maybe, just maybe, God would speak through them and put Light in my friend's heart. I anxiously waited a day and a half for a reply. This morning it came and I saw a glimmer of God.
Pray for my friend. I'm not naming names out of respect, but please just remember "Christi's friend" in prayer.
Also, pray for my friend that lost her little boy. She is healing and God is working in her life.
And pray for my family, as tomorrow is September 10th. and the day we lost Amy.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Life As We Know It
Wow, it's been a while since I've written. Sorry guys. School and work have been keeping me busy. Even this weekend I've spent most of my free time at work, or doing things for work. Yesterday we had CPR/AED/First-aid training at the hospital so I spent most of my day in a cold room trying not to fall asleep. Actually I was very thankful to become certified in those areas because I feel much more competent at my job. I was always scared someone would come running in asking for help for someone who needed CPR and I wouldn't know what to do. Now I do! So, yah! :-) It's a good feeling to know that I can save someones life if needed.
Today I work at the clinic 8am-4pm. Thankfully I am able to do homework on the job. Right now I'm trying to import CD's onto my i-tunes account. But since i-tunes is blocked on campus, I have to manually name each and every song. One of my biggest pet peeves is having "unknown" songs in my itunes. I spent hours one day fixing this and I swore to never do it again. :-) It's almost worth driving to McDonalds to use their wifi, but I'm not quite that desperate.
Aaron Shust is playing now. I like his music.
Oh! The other day, Thursday evening actually, Shane and Shane came to our campus. Do you know who they are? Because I didn't know who they were until I saw them. :-) But anyway, they came for a convo and it was awesome. They have amazing voices. If you don't know who they are, you should definitely youtube them. They're great.
Last night I went running with my friend, Melissa. She works at the clinic with me and is a nursing student. Sadly, she's in the class below mine so we don't get to take a lot of classes together. But each semester we try to take at least 1 class together because it makes the class a lot more fun. This semester we're taking Human Development and let me just say that I'm so thankful Melissa is in it with me because the teacher is not the best. Anyway, we went running last night and ended up walking most of it. We get talking on the most random topics and before we know it we've walked 3 miles and haven't run a single lap. But it's so cool because Melissa is a Christian and she has dealt with a lot of the same things as I have in my life. She is a HUGE blessing to me. She said last night that she knew the moment that she met me that we were going to be really good friends. Melissa is married and has a little girl, Macy. She has the funniest stories ever. :-) hehe.
I want you all to know that I'm thankful for each of you. I'm sorry that I get really busy during the semster and I don't have as much time to email you, or write you letters, or call you even. I really want to spend time talking with each of so please let me know if you feel like I've been ignoring you. I love you and think you're all great. :-)
Now, Microbiology is calling my name. :-( Write me friends! I love to hear from you!
Today I work at the clinic 8am-4pm. Thankfully I am able to do homework on the job. Right now I'm trying to import CD's onto my i-tunes account. But since i-tunes is blocked on campus, I have to manually name each and every song. One of my biggest pet peeves is having "unknown" songs in my itunes. I spent hours one day fixing this and I swore to never do it again. :-) It's almost worth driving to McDonalds to use their wifi, but I'm not quite that desperate.
Aaron Shust is playing now. I like his music.
Oh! The other day, Thursday evening actually, Shane and Shane came to our campus. Do you know who they are? Because I didn't know who they were until I saw them. :-) But anyway, they came for a convo and it was awesome. They have amazing voices. If you don't know who they are, you should definitely youtube them. They're great.
Last night I went running with my friend, Melissa. She works at the clinic with me and is a nursing student. Sadly, she's in the class below mine so we don't get to take a lot of classes together. But each semester we try to take at least 1 class together because it makes the class a lot more fun. This semester we're taking Human Development and let me just say that I'm so thankful Melissa is in it with me because the teacher is not the best. Anyway, we went running last night and ended up walking most of it. We get talking on the most random topics and before we know it we've walked 3 miles and haven't run a single lap. But it's so cool because Melissa is a Christian and she has dealt with a lot of the same things as I have in my life. She is a HUGE blessing to me. She said last night that she knew the moment that she met me that we were going to be really good friends. Melissa is married and has a little girl, Macy. She has the funniest stories ever. :-) hehe.
I want you all to know that I'm thankful for each of you. I'm sorry that I get really busy during the semster and I don't have as much time to email you, or write you letters, or call you even. I really want to spend time talking with each of so please let me know if you feel like I've been ignoring you. I love you and think you're all great. :-)
Now, Microbiology is calling my name. :-( Write me friends! I love to hear from you!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Psalm 62
1 "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.3 How long will you assault a man? Would all of you throw him down-- this leaning wall, this tottering fence? 4 They fully intend to topple him from his lofty place; they take delight in lies. With their mouths they bless, but in their hearts they curse. "Selah" 5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. "Selah" 9 Lowborn men are but a breath, the highborn are but a lie; if weighed on a balance, they are nothing; together they are only a breath. 10 Do not trust in extortion or take pride in stolen goods; though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.11 One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong,12 and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done."
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Week 2: NCF, BSU, and all those other things
Week 2 is about to start! I'm actually pretty excited about it. My schedule this year is pretty chill compared to last semester. I have Monday and Friday afternoons completely free to do homework, work on projects, etc. Tomorrow I plan to do some of my Informatics(computer class) homework, write an application to go on the Patriotic Trip to Hawaii in December, and do some more microbiology. I'm actually enjoying my homework so far and I'm so thankful for that. It makes a huge difference!
Emma is at a game night so I'm here alone. I was studying micro but my eyes got tired.
I had an awesome weekend! Lizzie and our friend Dani came so I got to spend the weekend with them in Branson. We went to see a couple of shows and played mini golf. :-) It was a blast! We went shopping at the Branson Landing and we all got a necklace and earrings at the $1 jewerly store, and we all got some shoes. It was pretty awesome. I think Lizzie took pictures so you should see them appearing on facebook shortly if you're her friend. It was so much fun to just hang out with them and relax. It had been entirely too long since I had seen Dani. I love you, Dani! :-)
Now it's back to reality, but like I said, I don't really mind all that much. I think this will be a really good semester. Some of my friends here are so encouraging and I know God is here with us. :-) That makes such a huge difference. God is good, all the time.
It's time for bed. My music player is lagging and that will just not do.
I'll try to blog again soon. :-)
~Christi
Emma is at a game night so I'm here alone. I was studying micro but my eyes got tired.
I had an awesome weekend! Lizzie and our friend Dani came so I got to spend the weekend with them in Branson. We went to see a couple of shows and played mini golf. :-) It was a blast! We went shopping at the Branson Landing and we all got a necklace and earrings at the $1 jewerly store, and we all got some shoes. It was pretty awesome. I think Lizzie took pictures so you should see them appearing on facebook shortly if you're her friend. It was so much fun to just hang out with them and relax. It had been entirely too long since I had seen Dani. I love you, Dani! :-)
Now it's back to reality, but like I said, I don't really mind all that much. I think this will be a really good semester. Some of my friends here are so encouraging and I know God is here with us. :-) That makes such a huge difference. God is good, all the time.
It's time for bed. My music player is lagging and that will just not do.
I'll try to blog again soon. :-)
~Christi
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
One Day Down and.... I'm too tired to count the rest
So, I got through my first day of classes and I have to say that I had nothing to worry about. My Character of Professional Nursing was a blast! It was extremely chill. All we did was talked to each other and introduced ourselves. Pretty nice, if I do say so myself. :-)
Microbiology was a little bit of a different story. Since we missed class yesterday Dr. Kervin was trying to make up for lost time and we have a quiz tomorrow and Thursday over our Disease Of The Week (DOTW) and our lab exercise. I'm so excited. :-) Ha... Actually the DOTW is pretty cool. Boils, Furuncles, and Impetigo. I mean, they're nasty, but it's cool to find out about them and learn how to prevent them and treat them. I think this will be a fun class once I get everything down and figure out study and homework time.
We had a nursing meeting tonight. It was great. We had delicious ice cream and cookies, got to socialize and talk to new-comers, and be encouraged by stories of the upperclassmen. Overall, it was a pretty great first day.
I went running after our meeting with 3 of the girls I work with. That was also great. A nice way to break up the day with some relaxing time. It's weird how running has become a break to me. But it helps me calm down and focus on what I need to get done.
Then I came back to find some good scripture for today. I found this in Isaiah.
"Fear thou not: for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am your God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee: yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10
Goodnight, friends.
Microbiology was a little bit of a different story. Since we missed class yesterday Dr. Kervin was trying to make up for lost time and we have a quiz tomorrow and Thursday over our Disease Of The Week (DOTW) and our lab exercise. I'm so excited. :-) Ha... Actually the DOTW is pretty cool. Boils, Furuncles, and Impetigo. I mean, they're nasty, but it's cool to find out about them and learn how to prevent them and treat them. I think this will be a fun class once I get everything down and figure out study and homework time.
We had a nursing meeting tonight. It was great. We had delicious ice cream and cookies, got to socialize and talk to new-comers, and be encouraged by stories of the upperclassmen. Overall, it was a pretty great first day.
I went running after our meeting with 3 of the girls I work with. That was also great. A nice way to break up the day with some relaxing time. It's weird how running has become a break to me. But it helps me calm down and focus on what I need to get done.
Then I came back to find some good scripture for today. I found this in Isaiah.
"Fear thou not: for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am your God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee: yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10
Goodnight, friends.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Year 2-What is a sophmore? "A person or group in the second year of any endeavor"
I like "second year of any endeavor" better than a person in their second year of highschool or college. It makes it sound better. :-)
On the way to church this morning Lizzie was reading this book. As soon as I could I quickly searched through the book to find my favorite part. :-)
Excerpt from Same Kind of Different Than Me By Ron Hall & Denver Moore pg. 106-107
'He(Denver) stared down at the steam rolling up from his coffee cup, “I been thinkin a lot about what you asked me.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. “What did I ask you?”
“'Bout bein your friend.”
My jaw dropped an inch. I'd forgotten that when I told him at the Cactus Flower Cafe' that all I wanted from him was his friendship, he'd said he'd think about it. Now, I was shocked that anyone would spend a week pondering such a question. While the whole conversation had slipped my mind, Denver had clearly spent serious time preparing his answer.
He looked up from his coffee. Fixing me with on eye, the other squinted like Clint eastwood. “There's somethin I heard 'bout white folks that bothers me, and it has to do with fishin.”
He was serious and I didn't dare laugh, but I did try to lighten the mood a bit. “I don't know if I'll be able to help you,” I said, smiling. “I don't even own a tackle box.”
Denver scowled, not amused. “I think you can.”
He spoke slowly and deliberately, keeping me pinned with that eyeball, ignoring the Starbucks groupies coming and going on the patio around us. “I heard that when white folks go fishin they do something called 'catch and release.'”
Catch and Release? I nodded solemnly, suddenly nervous and curious at the same time.
“That really bothers me,” Denver went on. “I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch... in other words, we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water.”
He paused again, and the silence between us stretched a full minute. Then: “Did you hear what I said?”
I nodded, afraid to speak, afraid to offend.
Denver looked away, searching the blue autumn sky, then locked onto me again with that drill-bit stare. “So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend.”
The world seemed to halt in midstride and fall silent around us like one of those freeze-frame scenes on TV. I could hear my heart pounding and imagined Denver could see it popping my breast pocket up and down. I returned Denver's gaze with what I hoped was a receptive expression and hung on.
Suddenly his eyes gentled and he spoke more softly than before: “But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever.”'
Ahh! I love that book. If you haven't read it, you must. It's an amazing story. I don't care if you hate reading, this book is worth it. What makes it even better is that it's a true story. Yes, people, someone really said those brilliant words to a real person. I think I would cry if someone said that to me. :-) Thanks for being such good friends, friends.
School starts tomorrow. I'm really anxious about it all. The verse, "Be anxious for nothing..." keeps running through my silly little brain. I should probably listen. :-)
I'm just a little homesick tonight. Em made me coffee and it helped a lot. I miss drinking coffee with my daddy though. :-(
On the way to church this morning Lizzie was reading this book. As soon as I could I quickly searched through the book to find my favorite part. :-)
Excerpt from Same Kind of Different Than Me By Ron Hall & Denver Moore pg. 106-107
'He(Denver) stared down at the steam rolling up from his coffee cup, “I been thinkin a lot about what you asked me.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. “What did I ask you?”
“'Bout bein your friend.”
My jaw dropped an inch. I'd forgotten that when I told him at the Cactus Flower Cafe' that all I wanted from him was his friendship, he'd said he'd think about it. Now, I was shocked that anyone would spend a week pondering such a question. While the whole conversation had slipped my mind, Denver had clearly spent serious time preparing his answer.
He looked up from his coffee. Fixing me with on eye, the other squinted like Clint eastwood. “There's somethin I heard 'bout white folks that bothers me, and it has to do with fishin.”
He was serious and I didn't dare laugh, but I did try to lighten the mood a bit. “I don't know if I'll be able to help you,” I said, smiling. “I don't even own a tackle box.”
Denver scowled, not amused. “I think you can.”
He spoke slowly and deliberately, keeping me pinned with that eyeball, ignoring the Starbucks groupies coming and going on the patio around us. “I heard that when white folks go fishin they do something called 'catch and release.'”
Catch and Release? I nodded solemnly, suddenly nervous and curious at the same time.
“That really bothers me,” Denver went on. “I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch... in other words, we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water.”
He paused again, and the silence between us stretched a full minute. Then: “Did you hear what I said?”
I nodded, afraid to speak, afraid to offend.
Denver looked away, searching the blue autumn sky, then locked onto me again with that drill-bit stare. “So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend.”
The world seemed to halt in midstride and fall silent around us like one of those freeze-frame scenes on TV. I could hear my heart pounding and imagined Denver could see it popping my breast pocket up and down. I returned Denver's gaze with what I hoped was a receptive expression and hung on.
Suddenly his eyes gentled and he spoke more softly than before: “But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever.”'
Ahh! I love that book. If you haven't read it, you must. It's an amazing story. I don't care if you hate reading, this book is worth it. What makes it even better is that it's a true story. Yes, people, someone really said those brilliant words to a real person. I think I would cry if someone said that to me. :-) Thanks for being such good friends, friends.
School starts tomorrow. I'm really anxious about it all. The verse, "Be anxious for nothing..." keeps running through my silly little brain. I should probably listen. :-)
I'm just a little homesick tonight. Em made me coffee and it helped a lot. I miss drinking coffee with my daddy though. :-(
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Brothers
We just finished watching the movie, "Grace Card". It was actually really good. The acting isn't amazing or anything, but the message makes up for it all.
At the end of the movie they played this song.
The first song I ever heard by Toby Mac was "Made To Love" and I loved it. Everytime I hear it now I think of Josh. He had it on his mP3 player and made a CD for Emma so we could listen to his music.
When Josh, Em and I were in Fine Linen's production of "The Miracle Worker", rehearsals and piano lessons were on the same day. Josh and Emma would come pick me up and we'd head to Rolla right afterward. I always felt special because I got to go with them. They just seemed so much older than I was so anything they did was cool. But one of the things I remember most about that time was when Josh would tell me to hold my ears because he didn't want me to hear the song that was going to play next. He didn't want to corrupt my music tastes with what he listened too because he knew Dad and Mom probably wouldn't like it much. But it was always special to listen to his music with him late at night on the way home from rehearsal as he'd take extra caution on the curves, but would go through a stop sign so Em and I could feel what it was like. I don't know why, but those are some of my favorite memories with Josh. Breaking the law, listening to music my parents wouldn't approve of, and eating junk food that made my stomach hurt. But it was all so great. That was how Josh showed me he loved me and now that I'm older I realize how much he did and does love me. My brothers have a hard time telling me that they love me so instead they show it in bizarre ways. Daniel just takes me driving, buys me a Sonic sweet tea, and talks to me about whatever happens to be on his mind at the time. Stephen makes me tea and gets excited when we get to share a special desert in the afternoon. Jed tells me about how he's been taking care of Belle, and asks me if I like the song he's listening too. When I tell him that I do, he gets really excited. Sam loves it when I get excited about helping him do stuff outside and in return, he willingly finds the wheelbarrow so we can haul away weeds.
My brother Brandon will wake up extra early just so I can talk to my nephew for a few minutes before I have to go to work.
My brother Nathan takes me to Sonic late at night when we both need to get off campus. He orders cherry limeaids with extra real cherries and when we discover that we have 4 cherrys each, we're estatic.
I love my brothers. There's just something special about each of them and I know God has put each of them in my life for a reason. Each day I am amazed by how much each of them love me and try to protect me in their own little way.
I'm sitting on Stephen's bed drinking coffee my daddy made for me. My coffee is getting cold... luke warm coffee isn't very good at all.
At the end of the movie they played this song.
The first song I ever heard by Toby Mac was "Made To Love" and I loved it. Everytime I hear it now I think of Josh. He had it on his mP3 player and made a CD for Emma so we could listen to his music.
When Josh, Em and I were in Fine Linen's production of "The Miracle Worker", rehearsals and piano lessons were on the same day. Josh and Emma would come pick me up and we'd head to Rolla right afterward. I always felt special because I got to go with them. They just seemed so much older than I was so anything they did was cool. But one of the things I remember most about that time was when Josh would tell me to hold my ears because he didn't want me to hear the song that was going to play next. He didn't want to corrupt my music tastes with what he listened too because he knew Dad and Mom probably wouldn't like it much. But it was always special to listen to his music with him late at night on the way home from rehearsal as he'd take extra caution on the curves, but would go through a stop sign so Em and I could feel what it was like. I don't know why, but those are some of my favorite memories with Josh. Breaking the law, listening to music my parents wouldn't approve of, and eating junk food that made my stomach hurt. But it was all so great. That was how Josh showed me he loved me and now that I'm older I realize how much he did and does love me. My brothers have a hard time telling me that they love me so instead they show it in bizarre ways. Daniel just takes me driving, buys me a Sonic sweet tea, and talks to me about whatever happens to be on his mind at the time. Stephen makes me tea and gets excited when we get to share a special desert in the afternoon. Jed tells me about how he's been taking care of Belle, and asks me if I like the song he's listening too. When I tell him that I do, he gets really excited. Sam loves it when I get excited about helping him do stuff outside and in return, he willingly finds the wheelbarrow so we can haul away weeds.
My brother Brandon will wake up extra early just so I can talk to my nephew for a few minutes before I have to go to work.
My brother Nathan takes me to Sonic late at night when we both need to get off campus. He orders cherry limeaids with extra real cherries and when we discover that we have 4 cherrys each, we're estatic.
I love my brothers. There's just something special about each of them and I know God has put each of them in my life for a reason. Each day I am amazed by how much each of them love me and try to protect me in their own little way.
I'm sitting on Stephen's bed drinking coffee my daddy made for me. My coffee is getting cold... luke warm coffee isn't very good at all.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Word of the day-"Inimitable"
While looking through a Real Simple magazine at the dentist office, Mom and I stumbled across this word. I had to look it up just now because I didn't know what it meant. But now I do, so I can educate you. Inimitable means, "incapable of being imitated or copied; surpassing imitation; matchless". Inimitable is a pretty great word. In fact, I know the perfect example to explain it better.
Last night was inimitable. One and a half cups of coffee and a few tears later, I feel like I can actually write about it. I got a my first hug from Gary in two years and I have to say that my heart was full. At one part I was sitting up on the bed and Gary climbed up next to me and snuggled in my arms. It was too much... I started sobbing like a big baby. I forgot how much I love that kid and how much I'll always love him. He was so sweet. Last night was so overwhelming that now it seems like one big blur. But, I was up with Gary by myself and it felt like home. This sounds ridiculously corny but if you have ever had to say goodbye to a child that captured your heart, you know how I feel. Gary took part of my heart with him to Arizona and last night, for 4 short hours, that piece was back. Tonight that piece is missing again and I don't know when it'll come back. It hurts so much. Please pray for me, friends. I knew this hurt was coming, it just hit harder than I thought it would. God is good. He gave me Gary back for what he felt necessary and I'm so thankful for it. But it hurts to have him taken away again.
On a happy note, I got my drivers license today and had a good dentist appointment.
On an even happier note, I saw something yesterday that made me laugh. This man got out of his car and I here him going, "Come here... come on, come here...". And behind him comes this little pig with a pink collar. Honest, this really did happen. A man was walking his pig outside of Subway. It was pretty cute. Try and picture that. :-) It makes a funny picture.
Last night was inimitable. One and a half cups of coffee and a few tears later, I feel like I can actually write about it. I got a my first hug from Gary in two years and I have to say that my heart was full. At one part I was sitting up on the bed and Gary climbed up next to me and snuggled in my arms. It was too much... I started sobbing like a big baby. I forgot how much I love that kid and how much I'll always love him. He was so sweet. Last night was so overwhelming that now it seems like one big blur. But, I was up with Gary by myself and it felt like home. This sounds ridiculously corny but if you have ever had to say goodbye to a child that captured your heart, you know how I feel. Gary took part of my heart with him to Arizona and last night, for 4 short hours, that piece was back. Tonight that piece is missing again and I don't know when it'll come back. It hurts so much. Please pray for me, friends. I knew this hurt was coming, it just hit harder than I thought it would. God is good. He gave me Gary back for what he felt necessary and I'm so thankful for it. But it hurts to have him taken away again.
On a happy note, I got my drivers license today and had a good dentist appointment.
On an even happier note, I saw something yesterday that made me laugh. This man got out of his car and I here him going, "Come here... come on, come here...". And behind him comes this little pig with a pink collar. Honest, this really did happen. A man was walking his pig outside of Subway. It was pretty cute. Try and picture that. :-) It makes a funny picture.
Monday, August 15, 2011
"Charlie, I'll love you forever..."
Have you ever seen "Kate and Leopold" by Nora Ephron? Kate's about to jump off the bridge and looks back at her brother, Charlie, and tells him that she loves him. It's sweet.
Gary will be here in 24 hours. I was thinking about how it will be when I see them pull up the drive. I get this bubbly feeling inside me each time I think of it. He called me Saturday and I asked him if I could give him a hug when I see him. He said, "Yes". :-) He also told me that he learned how to draw stars but he's not very good at drawing half moons yet so we need to practice that together. :-) I can't even describe the feeling I have when I think that I'll be with Gary for the first time in 2 years tomorrow night. I honestly never thought I'd see him again... It's kind of blowing my mind.
I'm kind of nervous though. Brandon is bringing his girl friend. And his brother, Chad, is bringing his girlfriend. I've never met the girlfriends. I'm sure they're both great.
I'm having a wonderful time at home with my family. It's been a good few days. Today I went shopping with Mom and Stephen in Columbia and Stephen helped me pick out a pair of sunglasses. He told me that they looked good on me so I got them. :-)
I also got a pink yoga mat so I can do pilates pain free. It makes me happy.
Kristen and I are going to establish an exercising routine consisting of running a couple times a week and doing pilates on the off days. She introduced me to something called Pop Pilates and let me just say that it's intense.
Yesterday I used the weed-eater for the second time in my life. Let me just say that it's about as fun to use as it sounds. My arms were toast after five measly minutes. I really need to get at it with those pilates. :-)
Stepen and I whipped up some heavy whipping cream and I put it in my second cup of coffee. It's yummy.
I've had a wonderful day but part of me feels a little sad. So many things have changed in a year. I'm glad that things have changed, but change always has that effect on me.
Well, I need to go work on a certain someones birthday present and finish my coffee before 10pm rolls around. I think this is the oddest thing I've ever posted. Let's just say it's a glimpse of my life at home. :-)
Gary will be here in 24 hours. I was thinking about how it will be when I see them pull up the drive. I get this bubbly feeling inside me each time I think of it. He called me Saturday and I asked him if I could give him a hug when I see him. He said, "Yes". :-) He also told me that he learned how to draw stars but he's not very good at drawing half moons yet so we need to practice that together. :-) I can't even describe the feeling I have when I think that I'll be with Gary for the first time in 2 years tomorrow night. I honestly never thought I'd see him again... It's kind of blowing my mind.
I'm kind of nervous though. Brandon is bringing his girl friend. And his brother, Chad, is bringing his girlfriend. I've never met the girlfriends. I'm sure they're both great.
I'm having a wonderful time at home with my family. It's been a good few days. Today I went shopping with Mom and Stephen in Columbia and Stephen helped me pick out a pair of sunglasses. He told me that they looked good on me so I got them. :-)
I also got a pink yoga mat so I can do pilates pain free. It makes me happy.
Kristen and I are going to establish an exercising routine consisting of running a couple times a week and doing pilates on the off days. She introduced me to something called Pop Pilates and let me just say that it's intense.
Yesterday I used the weed-eater for the second time in my life. Let me just say that it's about as fun to use as it sounds. My arms were toast after five measly minutes. I really need to get at it with those pilates. :-)
Stepen and I whipped up some heavy whipping cream and I put it in my second cup of coffee. It's yummy.
I've had a wonderful day but part of me feels a little sad. So many things have changed in a year. I'm glad that things have changed, but change always has that effect on me.
Well, I need to go work on a certain someones birthday present and finish my coffee before 10pm rolls around. I think this is the oddest thing I've ever posted. Let's just say it's a glimpse of my life at home. :-)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Home
It was a bittersweet day. It was the last day Kristen and I got to work together, but don't worry, we took lots of pictures. Unfortunately I left the camera in Branson so you'll have to wait a while to see any of them. That may be a good thing.
Dan and I drove home tonight. I love car rides with Daniel. First of all because he makes sure he listens to music he thinks is appropriate for my "innocent" ears. Second, because he offers to buy me a drink when he sees that gas is only $3.26 a gallon and feels like he can splurge $1.44 on soda. Thirdly, because he likes to talk while he drives. It makes a car ride all around enjoyable. I think he may be my first pick if I were ever to go on a road trip.
The first thing I saw when going into the house was Max. I love our dog. Then Bobby comes running around the corner, "CHRISTI!!!" and gives me a pat on the back. Then Stephen comes in the kitchen with a glass in his hand and a straw in his mouth trying not to look too happy. Haha! I love my brothers. The first thing Jed says to me is, "Christi, remember this song?". It was "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke. "Yes," I told him, "I love that song." and it carried me down a road of memories sitting on Dan's bed while Josh digs through piles of junk on the floor looking for a bike tool. Music and smell remind me of things more than anything else. It's weird how that happens.
I will see Gary in 5 days. I was thinking about it earlier and my stomach started turning. Five days, people! I get to see my nephew in 5 days! It has been 2 years, 1 month, and 4 days since I've hugged his cute face. I can't wait to do it again.
No pictures tonight. Kristen and I took some of us trying to look sad but it turned into a giggle fest. Why is it so hard to look sad while taking a picture? I have no idea.
Dan and I drove home tonight. I love car rides with Daniel. First of all because he makes sure he listens to music he thinks is appropriate for my "innocent" ears. Second, because he offers to buy me a drink when he sees that gas is only $3.26 a gallon and feels like he can splurge $1.44 on soda. Thirdly, because he likes to talk while he drives. It makes a car ride all around enjoyable. I think he may be my first pick if I were ever to go on a road trip.
The first thing I saw when going into the house was Max. I love our dog. Then Bobby comes running around the corner, "CHRISTI!!!" and gives me a pat on the back. Then Stephen comes in the kitchen with a glass in his hand and a straw in his mouth trying not to look too happy. Haha! I love my brothers. The first thing Jed says to me is, "Christi, remember this song?". It was "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke. "Yes," I told him, "I love that song." and it carried me down a road of memories sitting on Dan's bed while Josh digs through piles of junk on the floor looking for a bike tool. Music and smell remind me of things more than anything else. It's weird how that happens.
I will see Gary in 5 days. I was thinking about it earlier and my stomach started turning. Five days, people! I get to see my nephew in 5 days! It has been 2 years, 1 month, and 4 days since I've hugged his cute face. I can't wait to do it again.
No pictures tonight. Kristen and I took some of us trying to look sad but it turned into a giggle fest. Why is it so hard to look sad while taking a picture? I have no idea.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Blessings
A normal day at the McDonald Clinic. Not much happened. Kristen and I read in the morning while drinking coffee and in the afternoon we watched this movie. It was great.
(Please excuse the glare)
I just made myself a cup of Sweet Dreams tea and have a handful of animal crackers. The perfect snack to have while blogging.
Tonight Eli and I met up with Joe and a friend at "Jesus Was Homeless". It was a wonderful night apart from Joe's constant teasing and sarcasm. It really was great. We went our usual route and got to see some familiar faces and even new faces. One familiar face was of an older gentleman with only one arm. He was as sweet as could be, asking each of us how we were and then saying good evening to each of us as we left. He left an impression on me. Here I am, about to wrap a shawl around me because my AC is so cold and there he is, a man more worthy of a cold place to sleep on a summers night than I feel I will ever be. I don't know how he lost him arm. For some reason I picture him a war veteran fallen on hard times. I don't know his story, but I would like to find it out.
I am so blessed. Each evening I come back to a quiet, cold place to sleep with running water and even a hot shower. I have a laptop, a coffee maker, a microwave, a mini fridge, books upon books, and still I complain about wanting things. I don't even need most of those things to survive. I know that I take advantage of my life here at CofO. One day I'll graduate and have to get an apartment, pay for water, electricity and heat. I'll have to provide my daily meals, and internet costs. I don't even think about those things on a regular basis. But I am thankful for them tonight, after seeing a couple of homeless gentlemen sad because they were stripped of their "front yard and driveway". The only way to their little establishment was up a muddy hill. But I know that even they are being taken care of by God. I don't think He left them for the wolves, He just has a different plan for their lives.
Tonight I got off work and checked my email. There was one from the financial aid office saying that I had been given a scholarship of $300. How does that even happen? I checked my student account this morning thinking that I barely had enough to cover the HTS fee that would be due in the middle of the semester and all of the sudden and completely a surprise, this scholarship pops up in my email and all I have to do is type up a thank you note. God is so good to me. He supplies all I need and more.
I hope that one day when I become a nurse I will have the privilege to serve others like we did tonight. I love being able to help them in small ways. I hope that serving these people tonight will somehow prepare me for serving others in the future. I had never volunteered for community service jobs before this and I have to say that I regret how many years I have wasted on doing nothing. God may not call me to the mission field, He may not want me to work at Barnes Jewish Hospital, but wherever he places me I know that it will be to His ultimate glory and that if I do what He says, He will always take care of me. "Trust-even when it's hard".
I just made myself a cup of Sweet Dreams tea and have a handful of animal crackers. The perfect snack to have while blogging.
Tonight Eli and I met up with Joe and a friend at "Jesus Was Homeless". It was a wonderful night apart from Joe's constant teasing and sarcasm. It really was great. We went our usual route and got to see some familiar faces and even new faces. One familiar face was of an older gentleman with only one arm. He was as sweet as could be, asking each of us how we were and then saying good evening to each of us as we left. He left an impression on me. Here I am, about to wrap a shawl around me because my AC is so cold and there he is, a man more worthy of a cold place to sleep on a summers night than I feel I will ever be. I don't know how he lost him arm. For some reason I picture him a war veteran fallen on hard times. I don't know his story, but I would like to find it out.
I am so blessed. Each evening I come back to a quiet, cold place to sleep with running water and even a hot shower. I have a laptop, a coffee maker, a microwave, a mini fridge, books upon books, and still I complain about wanting things. I don't even need most of those things to survive. I know that I take advantage of my life here at CofO. One day I'll graduate and have to get an apartment, pay for water, electricity and heat. I'll have to provide my daily meals, and internet costs. I don't even think about those things on a regular basis. But I am thankful for them tonight, after seeing a couple of homeless gentlemen sad because they were stripped of their "front yard and driveway". The only way to their little establishment was up a muddy hill. But I know that even they are being taken care of by God. I don't think He left them for the wolves, He just has a different plan for their lives.
Tonight I got off work and checked my email. There was one from the financial aid office saying that I had been given a scholarship of $300. How does that even happen? I checked my student account this morning thinking that I barely had enough to cover the HTS fee that would be due in the middle of the semester and all of the sudden and completely a surprise, this scholarship pops up in my email and all I have to do is type up a thank you note. God is so good to me. He supplies all I need and more.
I hope that one day when I become a nurse I will have the privilege to serve others like we did tonight. I love being able to help them in small ways. I hope that serving these people tonight will somehow prepare me for serving others in the future. I had never volunteered for community service jobs before this and I have to say that I regret how many years I have wasted on doing nothing. God may not call me to the mission field, He may not want me to work at Barnes Jewish Hospital, but wherever he places me I know that it will be to His ultimate glory and that if I do what He says, He will always take care of me. "Trust-even when it's hard".
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
"Bleak House" on a rainy evening? I think yes.
Not much happened today. Pretty much the same as yesterday, except it rained a lot more.
I got off work tonight and went to dinner. There was nothing to eat so I had a english muffin for the second time today and stole yet another piece of fruit from the cafeteria. I then came back to my room, did some Pop Pilates (Ouch!) and then cleaned for room checks tomorrow. While doing this I started the first episode of Bleak House by BBC. I've never seen it so I decided that it was time to start.
Although this summer has been monotonous in a lot of ways, I am sad it's ending. Today a junior nursing student came into the clinic to chat with us and it became all too real that my life is about to get a lot simpler. Not in the fact that I'll have a lot of school, but in the fact that I'll have less time to do things like this. I'll go from watching movies every day and laying on my bed contemplating life to getting off from work and the first thing I do is sit down with a book to study and hardly have time to eat dinner. I love college, but I don't like the first two weeks. The first two weeks of last semester were awful just because I was not prepared for it spiritually and mentally. I had a breakdown one night after work and almost called my mom to come pick me up. I wanted to drop out of school. I didn't care anymore what I was going to do with my life, I just wanted to get out of the Gates of Opportunity. So, this week and next week I'll be trying to prepare myself for what's ahead. I don't know if I'm ready for it. How do you prepare? It's not like you can just pretend that classes have started and that you don't have time to do anything.
What saddens me most is that I won't have as much time to blog or write my friends. I don't like having to prioritize every single little thing in my life when school starts but I know that's how it must be.
I got my first nursing book today and that put me in a more optimistic mood. I felt more like a nurse after flipping through it. :-)
I heard this on Bleak House. It made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with you. "This is the growlery. When I'm out of humor, I come here and growl." I don't know who said it, just appreciate it. That's kind of what this blog is too me, except I try to not growl.
I got off work tonight and went to dinner. There was nothing to eat so I had a english muffin for the second time today and stole yet another piece of fruit from the cafeteria. I then came back to my room, did some Pop Pilates (Ouch!) and then cleaned for room checks tomorrow. While doing this I started the first episode of Bleak House by BBC. I've never seen it so I decided that it was time to start.
Although this summer has been monotonous in a lot of ways, I am sad it's ending. Today a junior nursing student came into the clinic to chat with us and it became all too real that my life is about to get a lot simpler. Not in the fact that I'll have a lot of school, but in the fact that I'll have less time to do things like this. I'll go from watching movies every day and laying on my bed contemplating life to getting off from work and the first thing I do is sit down with a book to study and hardly have time to eat dinner. I love college, but I don't like the first two weeks. The first two weeks of last semester were awful just because I was not prepared for it spiritually and mentally. I had a breakdown one night after work and almost called my mom to come pick me up. I wanted to drop out of school. I didn't care anymore what I was going to do with my life, I just wanted to get out of the Gates of Opportunity. So, this week and next week I'll be trying to prepare myself for what's ahead. I don't know if I'm ready for it. How do you prepare? It's not like you can just pretend that classes have started and that you don't have time to do anything.
What saddens me most is that I won't have as much time to blog or write my friends. I don't like having to prioritize every single little thing in my life when school starts but I know that's how it must be.
I got my first nursing book today and that put me in a more optimistic mood. I felt more like a nurse after flipping through it. :-)
I heard this on Bleak House. It made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with you. "This is the growlery. When I'm out of humor, I come here and growl." I don't know who said it, just appreciate it. That's kind of what this blog is too me, except I try to not growl.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Last week of Summer: Part 2
So today at the clinic Ryan came. He's the Physicians Assistant that comes to the clinic twice a week. It's always kind of crazy when he comes. Poor Nurse Mary got stressed out by some of it. Afterward, Kristen and I decided that we had to have coffee to help us. We spent a lovely morning reading these books while we sipped our coffee. The top two are mine. I just finished Jane Eyre and I must say that I really enjoyed it. I just started To Kill A Mocking Bird yesterday but am really enjoying it as well. The style of writing is so unique. I like it. :-)
I'm really sad that the summer is over. I had so many things I wanted to do, yet I feel like I didn't accomplish anything but read a few books. I started a summer reading list and To Kill A Mocking Bird was the first one added. It's kind of humerous that it's the last one I'll be reading this summer. I've read some great books these last few months, like Crazy Love and One Thousand Gifts but most of the books were ones I just wanted to read.
Are you ever doing something and you can feel God right there in the middle of it? It's so obvious that He's working in it that you don't think twice about why you're doing it so long as it's glorifying to God? I love those times. That's how I felt when I was reading those two books, but the others? Pheeh... I could of done without them.
I strive each day to complete each task as if it were asked of me by God Himself and every day I fail miserably. Sometimes I start something and I know that I could be doing something more eternally worthy. Yet, I like what I'm doing so I don't go do that more worthy thing. That's when I get mad at myself. Most of my bad moods are the result of having a war with myself. Do you ever just sit and fight about things in your head? Yep, that's me every day. It's kind of like the two angels on your shoulder, except I don't picture it that way.
This fighting within myself has been my main struggle this summer. Even while working with Kristen I've wondered what God's purpose is in it. But knowing that he has some great big plan to come of it just amazes me. I love working with Kristen. She's an amazing person and she's been such a blessing to me. She's so encouraging when others are discouraging. I know God put her in my life to prepare for something. I'm curious what it is.
I probably overthink the whole, "I wonder what God's is planning in this?" business. I don't know, people always ask why things happen and my reply is that God has a plan in it. It may not be mind blowing to you at this time, but just wait... Every day of our lives leads up to something. Every moment... do ever just think how big a difference saying hello to someone makes? For some reason I've been realizing this summer how different people react to a simple hello. It's actually really interesting. There's this girl who works at the cafeteria and I always try to be really nice to her because she always seems down in the dumps. So tonight I said hello to her and smiled and she didn't even say anything. I wonder why she does that. Did I hurt her once? I don't know. I've only talked with her a few times and I don't know if I offended her in some way, or maybe that's just the way she is. I'm going to try to be polite and kind to her whenever I see her but whenever she looks at me it's this blank stare and I wonder how it got to that point. I'm still going to say hi to her everytime she takes my ID card. It just makes me sad that it's like that.
All this to say, only 3 days left of work with Kristen and I wonder how we got to be such good friends. I love it. :-) Consider for a second what made you good friends with people. Was it something they did for you once? Was it something you did for them? Or did it just happen suddenly? I worked with a new guy the first six weeks and sadly I didn't get along with him that well. We were friendly to each other, and still are, but I definitely wouldn't spend more time than I had to around him. I don't like that I feel that way. He is still a child of God and even though our personalities clash it does not mean that I shouldn't show him the same Christian love I'm trying to show that girl who takes my ID card at the cafeteria. Do you have people like this in your life? It's hard, isn't it?
We can pray for each other friends. :-) Pray for me that I'll be kind and loving to this co-worker and show him that I am a follower of God. But most of all, pray that I'll strive to be Godly in all that I do. I've really been messing up lately. Or maybe I've just become more aware of how nasty I am. Either way, I can feel God working and though it hurts, I am happy for it.
I love you friends.
I'm really sad that the summer is over. I had so many things I wanted to do, yet I feel like I didn't accomplish anything but read a few books. I started a summer reading list and To Kill A Mocking Bird was the first one added. It's kind of humerous that it's the last one I'll be reading this summer. I've read some great books these last few months, like Crazy Love and One Thousand Gifts but most of the books were ones I just wanted to read.
Are you ever doing something and you can feel God right there in the middle of it? It's so obvious that He's working in it that you don't think twice about why you're doing it so long as it's glorifying to God? I love those times. That's how I felt when I was reading those two books, but the others? Pheeh... I could of done without them.
I strive each day to complete each task as if it were asked of me by God Himself and every day I fail miserably. Sometimes I start something and I know that I could be doing something more eternally worthy. Yet, I like what I'm doing so I don't go do that more worthy thing. That's when I get mad at myself. Most of my bad moods are the result of having a war with myself. Do you ever just sit and fight about things in your head? Yep, that's me every day. It's kind of like the two angels on your shoulder, except I don't picture it that way.
This fighting within myself has been my main struggle this summer. Even while working with Kristen I've wondered what God's purpose is in it. But knowing that he has some great big plan to come of it just amazes me. I love working with Kristen. She's an amazing person and she's been such a blessing to me. She's so encouraging when others are discouraging. I know God put her in my life to prepare for something. I'm curious what it is.
I probably overthink the whole, "I wonder what God's is planning in this?" business. I don't know, people always ask why things happen and my reply is that God has a plan in it. It may not be mind blowing to you at this time, but just wait... Every day of our lives leads up to something. Every moment... do ever just think how big a difference saying hello to someone makes? For some reason I've been realizing this summer how different people react to a simple hello. It's actually really interesting. There's this girl who works at the cafeteria and I always try to be really nice to her because she always seems down in the dumps. So tonight I said hello to her and smiled and she didn't even say anything. I wonder why she does that. Did I hurt her once? I don't know. I've only talked with her a few times and I don't know if I offended her in some way, or maybe that's just the way she is. I'm going to try to be polite and kind to her whenever I see her but whenever she looks at me it's this blank stare and I wonder how it got to that point. I'm still going to say hi to her everytime she takes my ID card. It just makes me sad that it's like that.
All this to say, only 3 days left of work with Kristen and I wonder how we got to be such good friends. I love it. :-) Consider for a second what made you good friends with people. Was it something they did for you once? Was it something you did for them? Or did it just happen suddenly? I worked with a new guy the first six weeks and sadly I didn't get along with him that well. We were friendly to each other, and still are, but I definitely wouldn't spend more time than I had to around him. I don't like that I feel that way. He is still a child of God and even though our personalities clash it does not mean that I shouldn't show him the same Christian love I'm trying to show that girl who takes my ID card at the cafeteria. Do you have people like this in your life? It's hard, isn't it?
We can pray for each other friends. :-) Pray for me that I'll be kind and loving to this co-worker and show him that I am a follower of God. But most of all, pray that I'll strive to be Godly in all that I do. I've really been messing up lately. Or maybe I've just become more aware of how nasty I am. Either way, I can feel God working and though it hurts, I am happy for it.
I love you friends.
Last week of summer: Part 1
It's the last week of summer. It makes me sad to think that summer is over and I don't really have anything to show for it. But, my coworker, Kristen, and I have had a great 5 weeks together. For our last week together we decided to take pictures daily. So here are some from today. All taken at Mcdonald Clinic by myself or Kristen. Enjoy! :-)
Yes, it's blurry.
We look like giants, in our hallway. I never noticed that before.
Sundae On Monday this afternoon. It was loads of fun. All of the Deans get together and serve us ice cream and they have tons of toppings to put on them. Mmmm... :-)
More photos to come later on. Stay tuned.
Yes, it's blurry.
We look like giants, in our hallway. I never noticed that before.
Sundae On Monday this afternoon. It was loads of fun. All of the Deans get together and serve us ice cream and they have tons of toppings to put on them. Mmmm... :-)
More photos to come later on. Stay tuned.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
"Concatenation"
I was trying to find a synonym for the word, "reunion" and this one popped up. It means "linked together; as in a chain". It's the absolule perfect word for my post tonight.
Coffee is brewing, my quilt is laying in front of me, and I have a good movie loading on Netflix. In my mind, it's the perfect way to spend a Sunday evening. It is exactly what I would be doing if it were two years ago. Except two years ago my heart was fighting for something God did not have planned for me. Two years ago is when Gary left. I know I've written about this story before, but I've been thinking about it today. Especially with my seeing Gary in just 10 short days.
I went to church at First Baptist Branson this morning. I love that church so much. I feel so at home and loved. The Pastor, Neil Franks, has been doing a series of sermons on "Who Do we Follow?". I've written about it before so I'll try not to be repetitive. Today he focused in on Luke 9:57-62.
"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus [1] said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'"-Luke 9:57-62
I used to wonder why Jesus was so harsh with these people who wanted to follow him. Why wouldn't he let the man go bury his father? Why couldn't the other say goodbye to his family? But now, thanks to church today, I understand it. The whole point of Jesus doing this was to say, "Hey, do you treasure me about them? Am I first in line or are going to go wait for your father to die so that you can inherit all of his land...etc...etc.." Makes perfect sense, right? So I started thinking about my life and wondering if I also was like these men. Of course there are things I love. For example, the scene I described above is something I love and treasure. But do I hold it above God's word? Would I rather spend an evening sipping coffee and watching a movie than read and study God's Word, or sit and pray for a couple of hours. Honestly, I think I would be lying if I said no. I love reading my Bible, but I also love coffee and a movie together. Which do I think it a perfect way to spend an evening? I usually find excuses for my behavior. Something like, "Oh...I just am not in the right mood for that tonight and I would be doing wrong if I read my Bible with a bad attitude... blah, blah, blah..." I am so good at convincing myself to do wrong. I don't perceive it as wrong when I'm doing it. It's later that the guilt trip sets in. I realize when I'm laying in my bed at night how wasteful I spent my day.
You want to know what I've been doing today? Watching "Wives and Daughters" on Netflix while quilting and drinking tea. It's sounds lovely, right? But it's not truly the way I wanted to spend my afternoon.
Today I witnessed a baptism of a little boy, a rededication to God by an elderly woman, and a friend braving the front of the church to go kneel and pray before God. The last one really got me. It's this guy that we know and he's probably one of the most Christian young men I've ever met. I just want to sit and talk with him about his journey with Christ and all that he's learned along the way. It amazes me how much he loves God. I guess I just don't see that very often. Earlier this summer I got to see my big brother get baptized and I have to tell you that it was one of the most precious things I've ever seen. It always makes me cry to think about how much he is learning and how much he loves God. I pick up these little things he says and I can't help but smile. I've never seen him so happy and I know it's all because of God. Knowing that I will get to spend eternity with him brings me such joy.
I LOVE seeing God work in peoples lives and sometimes I wonder if His work is evident in my life. I pray it is. I pray each day that I will glorify Him with all that I do, but am I truly doing that?
This reunion with Gary is so exciting. I am SO thankful that I get to see him, even if it is only for a few hours. God is good to bring him back for that short of time. See, two years ago I was fighting for Gary. He was something God didn't want me to have. And you know why? Because I was putting Gary over God. I loved Gary more. I thought God wanted me to take care of Gary and I can't tell you how many times I questioned him saying, "Why did you bring Gary into my life, just to rip him away from me?" I didn't understand then that God was just trying to help me see how great He is and how much He loves me. As the calls between Gary and I got fewer and farther between a peice of my heart was taken away. I treasured those calls with Gary. They were pretty much what I lived for each day. For lack of a better word, I was so stupid! If I only knew what I know now. So many things would be different. But honestly, I don't think I would want them to be different. They are this way because God knows what's best for me. Through all of this I have learned so much. Each little thing that happened has led me to this point and I have to say that although there were many hardships, there have been more happy things in my life. They may be few but they're great. So, my life is a concatenation. Every piece of it linked together in some way or another. Each day a new chain link is added and each link has it's own story. It's kind of neat to think about. :-)
Anyway, the sermon today reminded me of two years ago and I wanted to share with you what I learned. Thanks for listening friends. Thanks to those who are living out God's truth and sharing your stories with me. I love each of you.
Night. :-)
Coffee is brewing, my quilt is laying in front of me, and I have a good movie loading on Netflix. In my mind, it's the perfect way to spend a Sunday evening. It is exactly what I would be doing if it were two years ago. Except two years ago my heart was fighting for something God did not have planned for me. Two years ago is when Gary left. I know I've written about this story before, but I've been thinking about it today. Especially with my seeing Gary in just 10 short days.
I went to church at First Baptist Branson this morning. I love that church so much. I feel so at home and loved. The Pastor, Neil Franks, has been doing a series of sermons on "Who Do we Follow?". I've written about it before so I'll try not to be repetitive. Today he focused in on Luke 9:57-62.
"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus [1] said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'"-Luke 9:57-62
I used to wonder why Jesus was so harsh with these people who wanted to follow him. Why wouldn't he let the man go bury his father? Why couldn't the other say goodbye to his family? But now, thanks to church today, I understand it. The whole point of Jesus doing this was to say, "Hey, do you treasure me about them? Am I first in line or are going to go wait for your father to die so that you can inherit all of his land...etc...etc.." Makes perfect sense, right? So I started thinking about my life and wondering if I also was like these men. Of course there are things I love. For example, the scene I described above is something I love and treasure. But do I hold it above God's word? Would I rather spend an evening sipping coffee and watching a movie than read and study God's Word, or sit and pray for a couple of hours. Honestly, I think I would be lying if I said no. I love reading my Bible, but I also love coffee and a movie together. Which do I think it a perfect way to spend an evening? I usually find excuses for my behavior. Something like, "Oh...I just am not in the right mood for that tonight and I would be doing wrong if I read my Bible with a bad attitude... blah, blah, blah..." I am so good at convincing myself to do wrong. I don't perceive it as wrong when I'm doing it. It's later that the guilt trip sets in. I realize when I'm laying in my bed at night how wasteful I spent my day.
You want to know what I've been doing today? Watching "Wives and Daughters" on Netflix while quilting and drinking tea. It's sounds lovely, right? But it's not truly the way I wanted to spend my afternoon.
Today I witnessed a baptism of a little boy, a rededication to God by an elderly woman, and a friend braving the front of the church to go kneel and pray before God. The last one really got me. It's this guy that we know and he's probably one of the most Christian young men I've ever met. I just want to sit and talk with him about his journey with Christ and all that he's learned along the way. It amazes me how much he loves God. I guess I just don't see that very often. Earlier this summer I got to see my big brother get baptized and I have to tell you that it was one of the most precious things I've ever seen. It always makes me cry to think about how much he is learning and how much he loves God. I pick up these little things he says and I can't help but smile. I've never seen him so happy and I know it's all because of God. Knowing that I will get to spend eternity with him brings me such joy.
I LOVE seeing God work in peoples lives and sometimes I wonder if His work is evident in my life. I pray it is. I pray each day that I will glorify Him with all that I do, but am I truly doing that?
This reunion with Gary is so exciting. I am SO thankful that I get to see him, even if it is only for a few hours. God is good to bring him back for that short of time. See, two years ago I was fighting for Gary. He was something God didn't want me to have. And you know why? Because I was putting Gary over God. I loved Gary more. I thought God wanted me to take care of Gary and I can't tell you how many times I questioned him saying, "Why did you bring Gary into my life, just to rip him away from me?" I didn't understand then that God was just trying to help me see how great He is and how much He loves me. As the calls between Gary and I got fewer and farther between a peice of my heart was taken away. I treasured those calls with Gary. They were pretty much what I lived for each day. For lack of a better word, I was so stupid! If I only knew what I know now. So many things would be different. But honestly, I don't think I would want them to be different. They are this way because God knows what's best for me. Through all of this I have learned so much. Each little thing that happened has led me to this point and I have to say that although there were many hardships, there have been more happy things in my life. They may be few but they're great. So, my life is a concatenation. Every piece of it linked together in some way or another. Each day a new chain link is added and each link has it's own story. It's kind of neat to think about. :-)
Anyway, the sermon today reminded me of two years ago and I wanted to share with you what I learned. Thanks for listening friends. Thanks to those who are living out God's truth and sharing your stories with me. I love each of you.
Night. :-)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Moving in, quilting, and buying books...
The title of this post pretty much summarizes what I've been doing this week. Monday afternoon I got off early from work and went to my room and packed. It was grand. I am no longer a Foster Child.
After dinner we started moving Emma's stuff and of course it has to be the hottest week of the year. But we didn't let that discourage us. This is what discouraged us.
And while we disencumbered this pile of junk we listened to this song.
Now, don't judge me for this song. I just like the way it sounds. :-)
After deciding to take a break, we celebrated our new "home" with the opening of French Soda Lemonade. And boy, is it good.
Let me just say that we drank this after we scarfed down a 32 ounce Sonic sweet tea, a McDonald milkshake, and french fries. If that doesn't make you sick, then I don't know what will. Actually it was all delicious because we were hungry. :-)
Our room looks better now! Emma's side still needs a little organzing, but I will work on that after I finish writing. :-)
Last night we "finished" our room and ran a couple errands (they threw away our shower curtain and shower curtains are very much needed in a dorm) and I went running with Kristen. I was super excited because I made this running playlist over the weeked. I even entitled it, Christi's Running Music. And here is what it includes. :-)
"Far Away"-Lecrae
"One Day"-Matisyahu
"God of This City"-Chris Tomlin
"Breath In"-Lecrae
"Background"-Lecrae
"Viva La Vida"-Coldplay
"Minstrel's Prayer"-Cartel
"No One Like You"-Chris Tomlin
"Wake Me Up When September Ends"-Green Day
"Battle"-Chris August
I really want to get the song "Dogs Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine. It's a great running song.
Anyway, our run was good. We did a mile and weren't dead by the end of it. I am so thankful for Kristen. It's so encouraging having someone to run with.
During the day I've been working on my quilt. I basted it together over the weekend and have started quilting! Yes, I know. Very exciting. :-)
It's a slow process, but worth every minute of it. :-) I enjoy quilting thoroughly. And I don't know if that's weird or not... maybe it is. But oh well. I still like it. :-)
And today I bought books. Three, to be exact. Books are so expensive. In this picture sits over $400. I'm going to guard them with my life.
Thankfully my dear co-worker is letting me borrow most of those books. She is a blessing to be sure. I have all my books except 3. And I'm contemplating not getting one of them because I was told that you never use it. I'll just have to see when the semester starts and how the class goes. I'm waiting on one that I ordered from Amazon, my FIRST nursing book! I'm super excited. :-)
And the other one is Microbiology... which is a $100 book and I'm waiting to hear from a friend on whether I can buy it from her for cheaper or borrow it. We shall see. :-) I just love books. Especially school books.
After dinner we started moving Emma's stuff and of course it has to be the hottest week of the year. But we didn't let that discourage us. This is what discouraged us.
And while we disencumbered this pile of junk we listened to this song.
Now, don't judge me for this song. I just like the way it sounds. :-)
After deciding to take a break, we celebrated our new "home" with the opening of French Soda Lemonade. And boy, is it good.
Let me just say that we drank this after we scarfed down a 32 ounce Sonic sweet tea, a McDonald milkshake, and french fries. If that doesn't make you sick, then I don't know what will. Actually it was all delicious because we were hungry. :-)
Our room looks better now! Emma's side still needs a little organzing, but I will work on that after I finish writing. :-)
Last night we "finished" our room and ran a couple errands (they threw away our shower curtain and shower curtains are very much needed in a dorm) and I went running with Kristen. I was super excited because I made this running playlist over the weeked. I even entitled it, Christi's Running Music. And here is what it includes. :-)
"Far Away"-Lecrae
"One Day"-Matisyahu
"God of This City"-Chris Tomlin
"Breath In"-Lecrae
"Background"-Lecrae
"Viva La Vida"-Coldplay
"Minstrel's Prayer"-Cartel
"No One Like You"-Chris Tomlin
"Wake Me Up When September Ends"-Green Day
"Battle"-Chris August
I really want to get the song "Dogs Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine. It's a great running song.
Anyway, our run was good. We did a mile and weren't dead by the end of it. I am so thankful for Kristen. It's so encouraging having someone to run with.
During the day I've been working on my quilt. I basted it together over the weekend and have started quilting! Yes, I know. Very exciting. :-)
It's a slow process, but worth every minute of it. :-) I enjoy quilting thoroughly. And I don't know if that's weird or not... maybe it is. But oh well. I still like it. :-)
And today I bought books. Three, to be exact. Books are so expensive. In this picture sits over $400. I'm going to guard them with my life.
Thankfully my dear co-worker is letting me borrow most of those books. She is a blessing to be sure. I have all my books except 3. And I'm contemplating not getting one of them because I was told that you never use it. I'll just have to see when the semester starts and how the class goes. I'm waiting on one that I ordered from Amazon, my FIRST nursing book! I'm super excited. :-)
And the other one is Microbiology... which is a $100 book and I'm waiting to hear from a friend on whether I can buy it from her for cheaper or borrow it. We shall see. :-) I just love books. Especially school books.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Far Away
Far Away by Lecrae
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
~Psalm 62:5-8
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
~Psalm 62:5-8
Monday, July 25, 2011
Last night I was laying in my bed thinking about the day and what had happened. Read this passage from Psalms 63.
1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me."
This summer has been so relaxing, but not in a good way. I thought I would love having time to sit around and do nothing but honestly, it really gets to me. I do things that have no benefit to my spiritual growth and relationship with God. I watch some pirated movie on a dumb website and afterwards, I feel so sinful. First of all, I'm BREAKING THE LAW! That should be kicker right there. But it isn't. At first it really bothered, but I've gotten so used to it now that it seems normal. I hate that. Why do we let bad things become normal in our lives? Is it easier to live with it that way?
All of this sinful behavior has left me thirsting for something more and in the last week or so I've realized how lousy my relationship with God has been this summer. He's slowly been easing His way into my summer life and is yelling at me, "CHRISTI! What are you DOING!?!?" Ok, I don't really picture God yelling at me. But, I feel like He would say it like that.
And in the last 2 days, I have had 3 HUGE conversations with 3 different people I know very well. They've all been weighing on me today and I'm trying to sort them all out in my head. I tried to journal about them but I hate the pen I have to journal with right now and for some reason that ruins it. Do you know what I mean? But these conversations, they were all so good and I know God's hand was in each of them. In every sentence; in every word. I could just feel God in them all. One of these conversations I had laying out on the beach. Another one, in the dark laying against a cold brick building. The last one, driving down a road. I tried to remember before I said anything to these people that this was a chance given to me by God to influence these people in whatever way He felt best. So I would take a few moments before I replied and was asking God to give me words to say that would be the most glorifying to Him. And as I came away from each of these conversations, I knew God had been working in them and was working in the people they involved, including myself. My best friend and I talked for an hour and a half the other night about life and just the things we've been having to deal with lately and it was such a great conversation. I always feel so lifted up by her and feel like God is using her in so many ways. It thrills me to know that. Before I was a Christian our conversations never went anywhere deep. They were always floating around the topics our older sisters were talking about and our dolls. But they're so precious to me now. It's like God gave her to me specifically because we understand each other so well and can pray for each other because we know exactly how the other one is feeling. There are only a few people I can do that with.
I've really been struggling lately with some of the relationships I have with people. I feel like they're so... I don't even know what. I just get so annoyed with these people because I feel like I only hear them complain about things or make excuses. Tonight I told someone that they make too many excuses and I know it's not my place to judge. Remember my post last week about excuses? Yeah... I'm just as bad. But out of no where the other person in the conversation said, "oh, shut-up." I didn't realize that she had said it because I had only been interrupted about 100 times during the conversation and was used to be barged in on at that point. But then she said, "I mean that in love." And I started to wonder, how can you mean that in love? You don't just tell someone to shut up. Ok, maybe some people do. And Ok, this particular person says that all the time to whomever she pleases. But it hurt me tonight. I wish it hadn't. I wish I could just shrug those things off. But this person asked me if I was OK and I reluctantly replied yes. I am OK. I'm not dying, my family is kind of happy, at least 3 of my siblings are saved, I have a home, I have dreams for my future...I have friends, right? I am OK. It's strange; it's been a long time since someone has asked me that and I've honestly been able to say that I was really OK. I was only being quiet. I don't like to talk. Usually when I do I say something I regret and then I feel guilty about it. Or I'm told to "shut-up" because someone didn't like what I said. Some people love to talk, and I'm glad because otherwise I probably wouldn't have any friends. People don't like people who don't talk... My brother Daniel told me that maybe I would have more friends if I talked to people more. He told me not to attack them though because it's annoying when girls do that. I love Daniel.
The other day I called my mom and started complaining about something. I don't remember what exactly. But she was like, "Christi, it's OK to complain sometimes. You need to vent." and I replied, "No mom, it's not OK. I shouldn't complain. My reasons aren't good." And now I find myself becoming so annoyed with people who complain and whine. It drives me crazy and I hate that I'm constantly judging people like that. I am asked to love people. It's commanded of God. Yet I fail miserablly every single day. Every single hour, every single minute. I am far from being a "nice person". I get so annoyed when people call me that. And when I tell them honestly that I am not a nice, they say something like, "Of course you would say that." And I wonder what that means?
Life has been full force this week. I've really been trying to examine my relationships with people and for the ones I'm struggling with, I'm trying to understand why they've been a problem. I think I just have high expectations. And I don't know... maybe it's just me. Maybe I am really misunderstanding this friend thing. Maybe I just struggle with certain personalities. Maybe I'm just ignorant. But whatever it may be, pray for me please? It's really hurting this week. I know God is working on it and I'm thankful for that. This heartache is worth it.
1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6 when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me."
This summer has been so relaxing, but not in a good way. I thought I would love having time to sit around and do nothing but honestly, it really gets to me. I do things that have no benefit to my spiritual growth and relationship with God. I watch some pirated movie on a dumb website and afterwards, I feel so sinful. First of all, I'm BREAKING THE LAW! That should be kicker right there. But it isn't. At first it really bothered, but I've gotten so used to it now that it seems normal. I hate that. Why do we let bad things become normal in our lives? Is it easier to live with it that way?
All of this sinful behavior has left me thirsting for something more and in the last week or so I've realized how lousy my relationship with God has been this summer. He's slowly been easing His way into my summer life and is yelling at me, "CHRISTI! What are you DOING!?!?" Ok, I don't really picture God yelling at me. But, I feel like He would say it like that.
And in the last 2 days, I have had 3 HUGE conversations with 3 different people I know very well. They've all been weighing on me today and I'm trying to sort them all out in my head. I tried to journal about them but I hate the pen I have to journal with right now and for some reason that ruins it. Do you know what I mean? But these conversations, they were all so good and I know God's hand was in each of them. In every sentence; in every word. I could just feel God in them all. One of these conversations I had laying out on the beach. Another one, in the dark laying against a cold brick building. The last one, driving down a road. I tried to remember before I said anything to these people that this was a chance given to me by God to influence these people in whatever way He felt best. So I would take a few moments before I replied and was asking God to give me words to say that would be the most glorifying to Him. And as I came away from each of these conversations, I knew God had been working in them and was working in the people they involved, including myself. My best friend and I talked for an hour and a half the other night about life and just the things we've been having to deal with lately and it was such a great conversation. I always feel so lifted up by her and feel like God is using her in so many ways. It thrills me to know that. Before I was a Christian our conversations never went anywhere deep. They were always floating around the topics our older sisters were talking about and our dolls. But they're so precious to me now. It's like God gave her to me specifically because we understand each other so well and can pray for each other because we know exactly how the other one is feeling. There are only a few people I can do that with.
I've really been struggling lately with some of the relationships I have with people. I feel like they're so... I don't even know what. I just get so annoyed with these people because I feel like I only hear them complain about things or make excuses. Tonight I told someone that they make too many excuses and I know it's not my place to judge. Remember my post last week about excuses? Yeah... I'm just as bad. But out of no where the other person in the conversation said, "oh, shut-up." I didn't realize that she had said it because I had only been interrupted about 100 times during the conversation and was used to be barged in on at that point. But then she said, "I mean that in love." And I started to wonder, how can you mean that in love? You don't just tell someone to shut up. Ok, maybe some people do. And Ok, this particular person says that all the time to whomever she pleases. But it hurt me tonight. I wish it hadn't. I wish I could just shrug those things off. But this person asked me if I was OK and I reluctantly replied yes. I am OK. I'm not dying, my family is kind of happy, at least 3 of my siblings are saved, I have a home, I have dreams for my future...I have friends, right? I am OK. It's strange; it's been a long time since someone has asked me that and I've honestly been able to say that I was really OK. I was only being quiet. I don't like to talk. Usually when I do I say something I regret and then I feel guilty about it. Or I'm told to "shut-up" because someone didn't like what I said. Some people love to talk, and I'm glad because otherwise I probably wouldn't have any friends. People don't like people who don't talk... My brother Daniel told me that maybe I would have more friends if I talked to people more. He told me not to attack them though because it's annoying when girls do that. I love Daniel.
The other day I called my mom and started complaining about something. I don't remember what exactly. But she was like, "Christi, it's OK to complain sometimes. You need to vent." and I replied, "No mom, it's not OK. I shouldn't complain. My reasons aren't good." And now I find myself becoming so annoyed with people who complain and whine. It drives me crazy and I hate that I'm constantly judging people like that. I am asked to love people. It's commanded of God. Yet I fail miserablly every single day. Every single hour, every single minute. I am far from being a "nice person". I get so annoyed when people call me that. And when I tell them honestly that I am not a nice, they say something like, "Of course you would say that." And I wonder what that means?
Life has been full force this week. I've really been trying to examine my relationships with people and for the ones I'm struggling with, I'm trying to understand why they've been a problem. I think I just have high expectations. And I don't know... maybe it's just me. Maybe I am really misunderstanding this friend thing. Maybe I just struggle with certain personalities. Maybe I'm just ignorant. But whatever it may be, pray for me please? It's really hurting this week. I know God is working on it and I'm thankful for that. This heartache is worth it.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Some cute quilts that I want to make
Intense, but awesome!
This reminds me of a baby quilt, but it kind of has a Pottery Barn vibe, don't you think?
And I just like this one. I think it's cute. :-) It was made with vintage fabric which makes it even better. I love how those are fabrics from the 70's but she totally made them work together. That's talent right there.
This is the same pattern as mine. I really like the colors that were used on this one. It's beautiful. If I were rich and could afford fabric like that, I'd make one that color too. :-)
I love the color of this one. :-)
I saw a book at Joanns the other day called Quilts Made Modern. I was tempted to buy it...but as it cost $20 I didn't.
I feel like a dork for liking quilts so much. I don't know why, I just think they're awesome.
People watching at the Landing
Friday nights are always different at CofO. No one ever knows what to do. When I got off work this afternoon Emma and Rachel kidnapped me and we went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get a wedding present for Rachel's friends. Then we went to dinner and Emma decided that she wanted to go to Arkansas for the weekend with Rachel. Emma likes those "spur of the moment" adventures. :-) So, Eli and I decided to go get some iced coffee at Vintage Paris and go window shop at the landing.
My iced coffee was delicious, even if it did cost $2.37. The company was good (thanks Eli!), and the atmosphere was lovely. The landing was crowded though. It took us about 20 minutes to find an actual parking spot, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. For you who don't know, the Landing is Branson Landing. It's basically part of downtown Branson by the water and has a lot of expensive stores and restaurants. But it's fun to window shop and people watch.
I ALMOST tried on a pair of Chacos. I've been wanting to for a while now but hadn't gotten the chance. When I went into the store tonight there were about 4 employees standing around a desk and not one of them came and asked me if I needed help. Therefore, I did not try on Chacos tonight. I really wanted too though. I want to BUY some. But not from them. Not after tonight. Actually that decision had already been made. They're much cheaper online.
Now I'm sitting in my room eating a bag of popcorn all by myself. I think I'm going to try and find a movie to watch while I wallow in my gloom. :-)
My iced coffee was delicious, even if it did cost $2.37. The company was good (thanks Eli!), and the atmosphere was lovely. The landing was crowded though. It took us about 20 minutes to find an actual parking spot, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. For you who don't know, the Landing is Branson Landing. It's basically part of downtown Branson by the water and has a lot of expensive stores and restaurants. But it's fun to window shop and people watch.
I ALMOST tried on a pair of Chacos. I've been wanting to for a while now but hadn't gotten the chance. When I went into the store tonight there were about 4 employees standing around a desk and not one of them came and asked me if I needed help. Therefore, I did not try on Chacos tonight. I really wanted too though. I want to BUY some. But not from them. Not after tonight. Actually that decision had already been made. They're much cheaper online.
Now I'm sitting in my room eating a bag of popcorn all by myself. I think I'm going to try and find a movie to watch while I wallow in my gloom. :-)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Florence Knightingale: Lady of the Lamp
So I have to read this book for my summer homework. My first nursing class is Character of Professional Nursing and they focus in on Florence Knightingale's mission and character. Over the summer they wanted us to read this book and answer some questions about Florence.
Everyone I talked to said this was the most boring book they've ever read. And after reading it, I've decided that it's not that bad. I have to say though, the most I got out of it was a paragraph on the last page.
“Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift. There is nothing small in it, for the greatest things grow by God's smallest. But to live your life, you must discipline it. You must not fritter it away in fair purpose, erring act, inconstant will, but must make your thought, your work, your acts all work to the same end, and that end not in self but in God. This is what we call character.” ~Florence Knightingale
Everyone I talked to said this was the most boring book they've ever read. And after reading it, I've decided that it's not that bad. I have to say though, the most I got out of it was a paragraph on the last page.
“Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift. There is nothing small in it, for the greatest things grow by God's smallest. But to live your life, you must discipline it. You must not fritter it away in fair purpose, erring act, inconstant will, but must make your thought, your work, your acts all work to the same end, and that end not in self but in God. This is what we call character.” ~Florence Knightingale
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Some verses I read this morning
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." 1 Timothy 6:6-8
"Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:12
"Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:12
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
"Excuses, Excuses..."
I wonder who invented the excuse. I'm not very fond of whoever did.
Last night I set my alarm for 5:30am so that I could get up and go running. I got my shoes out, my walkman, I was ready. So this morning I woke up to see that it was 5am. So, I decided that I'd sleep for another 30 minutes. And somehow within those 30 minutes I convinced myself that it would be too dangerous for me to get up and go running. Why? Well, let me tell you.
I really did want to get up and go running. I knew it would give me more energy throughout the day and that it'd just make the day better knowing that I had actually gotten some exercise. But then I started thinking about how it was still dark outside. And that reminded me of the drunk driver that had driven all over the track. Last Friday night a drunk guy busted through the Gates of Opportunity at 50mph. He was being persued by 6 Taney County Polic officers. He drove through campus and down onto the track and them rammed into the freshman lot gates. Then he jumped out of his car and put his hands behind his back.
I kept thinking of this as I was half asleep (my logic amazes me sometimes) and came up with the conclusion that I shouldn't go running because: what if that happened again and what if I didn't see them and ran right into their path.
All this to say, I didn't go running this morning.
Instead I slept an extra half hour in paranoia that roaches were crawling all over me. The exterminator came last week and there have been roaches all over my room. I will be glad to leave Foster dorm in a two more weeks.
All of this reminds me of something Pastor Neil said(FBC's pastor) on Sunday. We like to make excuses for ourselves so we don't sound so bad. He used the example of chocolate cake. You're on a diet and you know you shouldn't have cake... But then you go over to someones house and they offer you cake and in your mind you're trying to come up with a reason for having that cake. You tell yourself that the cook will be offended if you don't have any. Of you say, "Well, I didn't have any for breakfast, so I can have some now." I can't even tell you how many times I've done that. But usually it's with tea or coffee. "Well, I didn't have any yesterday and it's just so sunny outside, I should definitely have some tea." That just sounds ridiculous. But that's usually how I decide things. Instead I don't even think about how drinking too much tea could be bad for my health and could inable me from doing something that would give God more glory than drinking that tea. Why do I do this? I'm depraved. I'm a sinner. I like to make myself happy and I like to make excuses so I won't feel so bad about it later. I hate feeling guilty. I hate being told that I've done something wrong. So I make excuses. Being humble can be so hard sometimes.
So, this kind of goes back to the, "Who Do you Follow?" sermon from Sunday. FBC has been good for me. It has been a challenge to me, which I appreciate so much. I need to be challenged. I need to be told to go do something out of the ordinary and give it all to God.
College has been really good for me. Sometimes I get frustrated with things here and wonder why I even decided to come. Then I am reminded in some way or another and realize that God is telling me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. It's hard to be away from your family and friends and missing out on the fun of being a kid. But we all have to grow up sometime. It's scary, being away from your parents and out from their constant guidance. But it's good.
Last night I set my alarm for 5:30am so that I could get up and go running. I got my shoes out, my walkman, I was ready. So this morning I woke up to see that it was 5am. So, I decided that I'd sleep for another 30 minutes. And somehow within those 30 minutes I convinced myself that it would be too dangerous for me to get up and go running. Why? Well, let me tell you.
I really did want to get up and go running. I knew it would give me more energy throughout the day and that it'd just make the day better knowing that I had actually gotten some exercise. But then I started thinking about how it was still dark outside. And that reminded me of the drunk driver that had driven all over the track. Last Friday night a drunk guy busted through the Gates of Opportunity at 50mph. He was being persued by 6 Taney County Polic officers. He drove through campus and down onto the track and them rammed into the freshman lot gates. Then he jumped out of his car and put his hands behind his back.
I kept thinking of this as I was half asleep (my logic amazes me sometimes) and came up with the conclusion that I shouldn't go running because: what if that happened again and what if I didn't see them and ran right into their path.
All this to say, I didn't go running this morning.
Instead I slept an extra half hour in paranoia that roaches were crawling all over me. The exterminator came last week and there have been roaches all over my room. I will be glad to leave Foster dorm in a two more weeks.
All of this reminds me of something Pastor Neil said(FBC's pastor) on Sunday. We like to make excuses for ourselves so we don't sound so bad. He used the example of chocolate cake. You're on a diet and you know you shouldn't have cake... But then you go over to someones house and they offer you cake and in your mind you're trying to come up with a reason for having that cake. You tell yourself that the cook will be offended if you don't have any. Of you say, "Well, I didn't have any for breakfast, so I can have some now." I can't even tell you how many times I've done that. But usually it's with tea or coffee. "Well, I didn't have any yesterday and it's just so sunny outside, I should definitely have some tea." That just sounds ridiculous. But that's usually how I decide things. Instead I don't even think about how drinking too much tea could be bad for my health and could inable me from doing something that would give God more glory than drinking that tea. Why do I do this? I'm depraved. I'm a sinner. I like to make myself happy and I like to make excuses so I won't feel so bad about it later. I hate feeling guilty. I hate being told that I've done something wrong. So I make excuses. Being humble can be so hard sometimes.
So, this kind of goes back to the, "Who Do you Follow?" sermon from Sunday. FBC has been good for me. It has been a challenge to me, which I appreciate so much. I need to be challenged. I need to be told to go do something out of the ordinary and give it all to God.
College has been really good for me. Sometimes I get frustrated with things here and wonder why I even decided to come. Then I am reminded in some way or another and realize that God is telling me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. It's hard to be away from your family and friends and missing out on the fun of being a kid. But we all have to grow up sometime. It's scary, being away from your parents and out from their constant guidance. But it's good.
Monday, July 18, 2011
These have been my thoughts...
I can never think of titles for my blog posts. I don't know why it's so hard. "Just pick something and name it", I always tell myself. Unfortunately telling myself that does not make me do it. As is my attitude with many things in life. "Get your running shoes out before you go to bed, set your alarm clock for 5:30am and go running", is another thing I tell myself on a regular basis. In fact, I get my running shoes out almost every night but usually end up going running twice a week. And I wonder why I never seem to get anywhere.
I always have a "To do or not to do..." list for the weekend. This is what it usually looks like,
To Do...Or Not To Do...
Laundry
Sew blocks
Clean room
grocery shopping
exercise!
read
homework
call Mom
write Justine back
go to the lake
Sometimes I get it all done, sometimes I don't. Usually it's the latter. This past weekend I happily gave up my "To Do...To Not To Do" list for a weekend of fun. On Saturday my friends and I decided to go shopping in Springfield. I needed to get a stencil for my quilt and they needed to get some shoes for weddings coming up. We had a great day. They finished it off with the lake and I finished it off by my sewing half of my quilt together. And as I was sitting there, sewing away, I was thinking about that verse that says to glorify God in all that you do. And I was trying to think of how sewing could give glory to God. I sew because I like it, because I like what I produce from it. Is that completely selfish? I got the thought in my head the other day, maybe I should start making quilts and donating them. But it takes me entirely too long to make a quilt, especially with school and working 40 hours a week. So that idea was soon gone. And then I thought, well, maybe I shouldn't sew if I don't glorify God with it at all. But I love to make quilts. I love seeing the design come together and the peices fit together. I'm making something that will last longer than I will live and there's some sort of pride that goes along with that thought. I wish there wasn't.
Sometimes I get caught up with myself. Let me rephrase that. Usually I am caught up with myself and my problems. Sometimes I think about my reason here at school and I think, I have so much going for me. I could do anything. But then God reminds me with some humbling experience, "You are here because of Me, Christi." And I'm like, well God, it feels really good to know that Dr. Williams picked me personally to take care of her children. And He's like, "Christi, you got that because of Me. You may think you're all high and mighty, but you're here for My glory. You're here to praise My name."
Yesterday Emma and I went to First Baptist Church Branson. The message was really good. It was on denying yourself and following God. The pastor used twitter as an example. It was a "Who Do you Follow?" type of thing. It was a really good reminder. Sometimes I get so caught up in my daily routine... I get up, get ready for work, eat breakfast, go to work at 7:15, work until 11:25, go to lunch, come back at 12:15, work until 4:30, go back to my room and clean up, dinner at 5:00, and then the evening is somehow taken up with random things. That's what I do, 5 days a week. It's really boring. Then I remember that that's what my life will be like once I'm graduated and have a job. It was kind of a wake up call. I HAVE to remember that I am here for God and not to make myself happy. I get so discontent when I don't remember God's purpose. I get so unhappy and question my life and forget why I'm even alive. I'm always trying to come up with fun things to do at work so I don't get bored. But I've been realizing how nice the quiet is and how God has given me that time for a reason. And it's not there to sit and complain about how there is nothing to do. Every moment is from God. There's an opportunity to glorify God in every moment if you know how to use that time. God is good like that. He gives us that opportunity because he knows that we need every moment possible. We are constantly failing in some way or another but God is always supplying opportunities for us.
I feel like this is just a bunch of rambling. It's taken me all day to write this. These have been my thoughts today.
I always have a "To do or not to do..." list for the weekend. This is what it usually looks like,
To Do...Or Not To Do...
Laundry
Sew blocks
Clean room
grocery shopping
exercise!
read
homework
call Mom
write Justine back
go to the lake
Sometimes I get it all done, sometimes I don't. Usually it's the latter. This past weekend I happily gave up my "To Do...To Not To Do" list for a weekend of fun. On Saturday my friends and I decided to go shopping in Springfield. I needed to get a stencil for my quilt and they needed to get some shoes for weddings coming up. We had a great day. They finished it off with the lake and I finished it off by my sewing half of my quilt together. And as I was sitting there, sewing away, I was thinking about that verse that says to glorify God in all that you do. And I was trying to think of how sewing could give glory to God. I sew because I like it, because I like what I produce from it. Is that completely selfish? I got the thought in my head the other day, maybe I should start making quilts and donating them. But it takes me entirely too long to make a quilt, especially with school and working 40 hours a week. So that idea was soon gone. And then I thought, well, maybe I shouldn't sew if I don't glorify God with it at all. But I love to make quilts. I love seeing the design come together and the peices fit together. I'm making something that will last longer than I will live and there's some sort of pride that goes along with that thought. I wish there wasn't.
Sometimes I get caught up with myself. Let me rephrase that. Usually I am caught up with myself and my problems. Sometimes I think about my reason here at school and I think, I have so much going for me. I could do anything. But then God reminds me with some humbling experience, "You are here because of Me, Christi." And I'm like, well God, it feels really good to know that Dr. Williams picked me personally to take care of her children. And He's like, "Christi, you got that because of Me. You may think you're all high and mighty, but you're here for My glory. You're here to praise My name."
Yesterday Emma and I went to First Baptist Church Branson. The message was really good. It was on denying yourself and following God. The pastor used twitter as an example. It was a "Who Do you Follow?" type of thing. It was a really good reminder. Sometimes I get so caught up in my daily routine... I get up, get ready for work, eat breakfast, go to work at 7:15, work until 11:25, go to lunch, come back at 12:15, work until 4:30, go back to my room and clean up, dinner at 5:00, and then the evening is somehow taken up with random things. That's what I do, 5 days a week. It's really boring. Then I remember that that's what my life will be like once I'm graduated and have a job. It was kind of a wake up call. I HAVE to remember that I am here for God and not to make myself happy. I get so discontent when I don't remember God's purpose. I get so unhappy and question my life and forget why I'm even alive. I'm always trying to come up with fun things to do at work so I don't get bored. But I've been realizing how nice the quiet is and how God has given me that time for a reason. And it's not there to sit and complain about how there is nothing to do. Every moment is from God. There's an opportunity to glorify God in every moment if you know how to use that time. God is good like that. He gives us that opportunity because he knows that we need every moment possible. We are constantly failing in some way or another but God is always supplying opportunities for us.
I feel like this is just a bunch of rambling. It's taken me all day to write this. These have been my thoughts today.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Another thing on the computer to waste time on
Hey friends, get a goodreads.com account! You can be my friend. :-)
Monday, July 11, 2011
A weekend at CofO
Last week I silently prayed that God would send me work to do so I could make some money. He answered two hours later with a call from Dr. Williams wanting me to help her clean her house.
I was kind of dreading the cleaning, but I got over there and I realized how much Dr. Williams needed my help and it was instantly worth it. I got to work along side her, which was awesome. :-) She wanted to wash her collection of Norman Rockwell plates. I jumped up on the counter and we shared tidbits of our lives. I had never had such a meaningful conversation while up on a counter. There's something about helping someone and talking to them about the little things in your life that have made you the way you are.
At one point I had to hop over the stove. I lost my footing and almost smashed my poor employer. I think we both felt a little closer after that incident.
Dr. Williams has blessed my life so much and I hope she knows that. I can feel the changes God has done through Dr. Williams and I am astounded. She is amazing... She is an amazing disciple of God.
Last night Emma and I were feeding her bosses dogs. Her boss went out of town this weekend so we house-sat. I had never been to their house before so now when I think of it, it kind of surprises me that I am comfortable at someones house of whom I have never met. Anyway, we were feeding the dogs and found we had locked ourselves out of the house. Emma and I both prayed that God would give us someway to get inside. I discovered a new bit of myself; I get depressed when I am placed in a stressful situation. In my depressed state of mind I continued to pray and walked back and forth on the porch moping. We were key-less and phone-less. All the windows were locked, all the doors were locked... no way in. Suddenly Emma had the bright of idea of bobby pins that she had conveniently left in her hair after going to the Lake. Hours before this obstacle occured she asked me if her hair looked OK. It did, and I'm so thankful.
Emma stuck a bobby pin in the key hole and shook a bit. "This always works in the movies! It has to work now!!" After about ten minutes, the lock turned, and Emma and I rejoiced. God answered another one of our prayers, except much faster this time.
Sometimes I forget to pray about little things... Things like smiling at people as they walk past, or doing something small for someone. Most of these are things I want to get into the habit of doing. I want to always think to pray about something before I do it. I want to think of others before myself. I want to always be thinking of ways to glorify God. I think that I need to start each morning with the simple, yet humbling prayer, "God, thank you... for your mercies are new each day."
I was kind of dreading the cleaning, but I got over there and I realized how much Dr. Williams needed my help and it was instantly worth it. I got to work along side her, which was awesome. :-) She wanted to wash her collection of Norman Rockwell plates. I jumped up on the counter and we shared tidbits of our lives. I had never had such a meaningful conversation while up on a counter. There's something about helping someone and talking to them about the little things in your life that have made you the way you are.
At one point I had to hop over the stove. I lost my footing and almost smashed my poor employer. I think we both felt a little closer after that incident.
Dr. Williams has blessed my life so much and I hope she knows that. I can feel the changes God has done through Dr. Williams and I am astounded. She is amazing... She is an amazing disciple of God.
Last night Emma and I were feeding her bosses dogs. Her boss went out of town this weekend so we house-sat. I had never been to their house before so now when I think of it, it kind of surprises me that I am comfortable at someones house of whom I have never met. Anyway, we were feeding the dogs and found we had locked ourselves out of the house. Emma and I both prayed that God would give us someway to get inside. I discovered a new bit of myself; I get depressed when I am placed in a stressful situation. In my depressed state of mind I continued to pray and walked back and forth on the porch moping. We were key-less and phone-less. All the windows were locked, all the doors were locked... no way in. Suddenly Emma had the bright of idea of bobby pins that she had conveniently left in her hair after going to the Lake. Hours before this obstacle occured she asked me if her hair looked OK. It did, and I'm so thankful.
Emma stuck a bobby pin in the key hole and shook a bit. "This always works in the movies! It has to work now!!" After about ten minutes, the lock turned, and Emma and I rejoiced. God answered another one of our prayers, except much faster this time.
Sometimes I forget to pray about little things... Things like smiling at people as they walk past, or doing something small for someone. Most of these are things I want to get into the habit of doing. I want to always think to pray about something before I do it. I want to think of others before myself. I want to always be thinking of ways to glorify God. I think that I need to start each morning with the simple, yet humbling prayer, "God, thank you... for your mercies are new each day."
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Quilt pictures
Now, I am not a photographer... I was thinking about just waiting until I go home again so that Lizzie can take pictures, but I'm not sure when I'll be going home again. So, you'll just have to be content with the poor quality of these photos. :-) 
See my cute "Joy" cup my dear mom got for me? I love mugs... I have about 10 of them here at school. :-)
This will be the general layout of the quilt. I'm thinking about doing a border around the outside, but I have to find some more fabric in order to do that. I'm thinking maybe a brown? We'll see. :-)
As for the actual quilting, I want to do something like this in the center of each block. I don't know if that would be too much design though.
Or maybe this? What do you think?
And this is what my bed looks like now. I love having my other quilt as a bed spread. Not only is it really light and cool in the summertime, but I love using something I created.
See my cute "Joy" cup my dear mom got for me? I love mugs... I have about 10 of them here at school. :-)
This will be the general layout of the quilt. I'm thinking about doing a border around the outside, but I have to find some more fabric in order to do that. I'm thinking maybe a brown? We'll see. :-)
As for the actual quilting, I want to do something like this in the center of each block. I don't know if that would be too much design though.
Or maybe this? What do you think?
And this is what my bed looks like now. I love having my other quilt as a bed spread. Not only is it really light and cool in the summertime, but I love using something I created.
Friday, July 8, 2011
This song cracks me up.... :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRmBChQjZPs
This song is by a Jewish Orthodox. You may have heard of him. My co-worker and her friend are going to his concert this weekend and I wish I could go with them. I think I would laugh the entire time. :-) But his message is really good and his music is enjoyable.
Have fun!
This song is by a Jewish Orthodox. You may have heard of him. My co-worker and her friend are going to his concert this weekend and I wish I could go with them. I think I would laugh the entire time. :-) But his message is really good and his music is enjoyable.
Have fun!
Monday, July 4, 2011
July-A month of memories and hope
Five years ago this month Amy was diagnosed with Leukemia. I've been thinking about this since the first of the month and as the 4th is now here, I can't help but remember the 4th of July 5 years ago. Mom and Emma were at the hospital with Amy and Dad was trying to cheer us up by buying fireworks. He bought each of us our own pack of fire crackers, which was a big treat for our family. I still have those fire crackers...
Today I am sitting in my room alone. Emma has to work at camp all day so I have been watching movies and working on my quilt. I'm borrowing this book from Emma Blessed Be Your Name by Matt and Beth Redman and as I began reading it I couldn't help but think of Amy and how we sang that song at her memorial service. Mr. Redman was going to come sing to the service for Amy but his agent didn't think it would be a good idea. One of Amy's friends sung it for her instead.
And as I was thinking about that I started thinking of her blog and how I wanted to read it again. Every once in a while I go back and read her posts and wish she was still here with us. I started at the beginning, July 3rd 2006, and was remembering so much about those few days.
I just read this book called Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. In this book Ron's wife dies of cancer and the entire time I was reading it, I was aching for the day I graduate from college with a nursing degree. I was sitting there at the front desk in the clinic; crying and wishing I was back in my room so I could sit and read my Bible. I want to be a nurse and take care of my patients. I want to kneel next to their hospital bed and offer to pray with them just like the nurses did when they took care of my sister. I want to be there to hug them and tell them that God is Sovereign and that He is with us through all of our trials. It's easy to say if you're the one without cancer. But as I read Amy's blog I'm constantly reminded of how God used her to bless so many people and to bring so much glory to His name. I want to be able to take care of someone God is using for such glory. I want to have that privilege and I pray that someday I will.
I've been at College of the Ozarks for over a year now. As I remember all of the things that have happened, I am fully aware of God's hand in all of it. Yes, there have been times when I've wanted to throw my books across the room, march out the Gates of Opportunity, and never come back. But God got me through that time and I know He will continue to do so.
My church is studying James. My Pastor thought it would be a good time to read it with all that's happening in my church family's lives. My pastor's wife has cancer and is currently in the hospital because of an infection that gave her a fever. Pray for her. Stop reading this and take one moment to praise God for working through her to bless others. It didn't occur to me until yesterday that I wish I could be the nurse taking care of her. What a blessing it would be to learn from such a woman...
I am aching for 3 years from now. I will be graduated God willing and have a job at Siteman Cancer Center at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis Missouri. I will be walking down the hall to the elevator and pass the wall of tiles, where my sister's name is placed. A wall of tiles with so much history and prayers. I don't have a picture of my sisters tiles, but here is a picture of the wall.
I know God has me exactly where He wants me. His hand is in everything that I do and see. I am thankful for that. I don't know if it is God's will for me to work at Siteman someday and if it's not, that's Ok. I know He has plans for me elsewhere.
Today I am sitting in my room alone. Emma has to work at camp all day so I have been watching movies and working on my quilt. I'm borrowing this book from Emma Blessed Be Your Name by Matt and Beth Redman and as I began reading it I couldn't help but think of Amy and how we sang that song at her memorial service. Mr. Redman was going to come sing to the service for Amy but his agent didn't think it would be a good idea. One of Amy's friends sung it for her instead.
And as I was thinking about that I started thinking of her blog and how I wanted to read it again. Every once in a while I go back and read her posts and wish she was still here with us. I started at the beginning, July 3rd 2006, and was remembering so much about those few days.
I just read this book called Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. In this book Ron's wife dies of cancer and the entire time I was reading it, I was aching for the day I graduate from college with a nursing degree. I was sitting there at the front desk in the clinic; crying and wishing I was back in my room so I could sit and read my Bible. I want to be a nurse and take care of my patients. I want to kneel next to their hospital bed and offer to pray with them just like the nurses did when they took care of my sister. I want to be there to hug them and tell them that God is Sovereign and that He is with us through all of our trials. It's easy to say if you're the one without cancer. But as I read Amy's blog I'm constantly reminded of how God used her to bless so many people and to bring so much glory to His name. I want to be able to take care of someone God is using for such glory. I want to have that privilege and I pray that someday I will.
I've been at College of the Ozarks for over a year now. As I remember all of the things that have happened, I am fully aware of God's hand in all of it. Yes, there have been times when I've wanted to throw my books across the room, march out the Gates of Opportunity, and never come back. But God got me through that time and I know He will continue to do so.
My church is studying James. My Pastor thought it would be a good time to read it with all that's happening in my church family's lives. My pastor's wife has cancer and is currently in the hospital because of an infection that gave her a fever. Pray for her. Stop reading this and take one moment to praise God for working through her to bless others. It didn't occur to me until yesterday that I wish I could be the nurse taking care of her. What a blessing it would be to learn from such a woman...
I am aching for 3 years from now. I will be graduated God willing and have a job at Siteman Cancer Center at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis Missouri. I will be walking down the hall to the elevator and pass the wall of tiles, where my sister's name is placed. A wall of tiles with so much history and prayers. I don't have a picture of my sisters tiles, but here is a picture of the wall.
I know God has me exactly where He wants me. His hand is in everything that I do and see. I am thankful for that. I don't know if it is God's will for me to work at Siteman someday and if it's not, that's Ok. I know He has plans for me elsewhere.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
"Relax, it's just a pinch."
The Red Cross is here today to take blood donations! I went this morning as soon as it was open so I could let my co-worker go later and so I could get a size small t-shirt (They run out quickly around here). I love their new logo, "Relax, it's just a pinch." It has a picture of a cute little stick man sitting on a chair with his arm up. Pretty cute.
I always get nervous about giving blood. This time was not any better. I get approved, iron high and temperature low, and make my way over to the chair. Being a righty, I always choose lefty chairs because I don't like to move my arm for a few hours afterward. The lady asked me my name and I told her. She then reported to me that there is another Christianne Martin in the world, who is, in fact, her best friend. :-) I wonder if her name might be Kayla? For today's purposes, let's just say it is. So Kayla is getting me all ready... She puts the blood pressure cuff on and tells me so squeeze the stress ball. I do so. Then iodine is rubbed on the area, and I watch as she brings the needle to my arm. For some reason it seems bigger each time. Unfortunately, I did not get the same big veins that my brothers have. I would probably look weird if I did, but on this particular day, I was very much wishing for big veins. I try not to cringe when the needle goes in, but after she moves it around and has to call someone over, I do indeed cringe. I didn't see Kayla again. :-( Finally this kind man got my blood flowing and then I started getting dizzy. Yes, dizzy. My worst fear at blood drives is too pass out. Especially when all of my peers are surrounding me. Then I do pass out, making it a total of 6 times of passing out. Two times at blood drives, once after falling out of the van because my high heel got stuck (talk about embarrassing). Once, while sitting at a table doing math, yes math...it has that affect on me. Once, while watching a nurse change a knee bandage. I passed out during my job shadowing at Skaggs Hospital. That was even more embarrassing than the high heel.
After I realized what had happened and they put my feet in the air, this funny guy came over and told me that I should always make sure to eat. I smiled back at him.
I didn't go to lunch at the cafeteria because it just seemed to far to walk today. My sweet co-worker offered to drive me but I said no.
I love giving blood, knowing how badly someone needs it makes it all worth it. I don't, however, like the after effects of it. I did get a t-shirt! Although Red Cross never has smalls, I walked away with a medium. Maybe a gift for my daddy. :-)
God bless those who don't pass out.
"Relax, it's just a pinch"
I always get nervous about giving blood. This time was not any better. I get approved, iron high and temperature low, and make my way over to the chair. Being a righty, I always choose lefty chairs because I don't like to move my arm for a few hours afterward. The lady asked me my name and I told her. She then reported to me that there is another Christianne Martin in the world, who is, in fact, her best friend. :-) I wonder if her name might be Kayla? For today's purposes, let's just say it is. So Kayla is getting me all ready... She puts the blood pressure cuff on and tells me so squeeze the stress ball. I do so. Then iodine is rubbed on the area, and I watch as she brings the needle to my arm. For some reason it seems bigger each time. Unfortunately, I did not get the same big veins that my brothers have. I would probably look weird if I did, but on this particular day, I was very much wishing for big veins. I try not to cringe when the needle goes in, but after she moves it around and has to call someone over, I do indeed cringe. I didn't see Kayla again. :-( Finally this kind man got my blood flowing and then I started getting dizzy. Yes, dizzy. My worst fear at blood drives is too pass out. Especially when all of my peers are surrounding me. Then I do pass out, making it a total of 6 times of passing out. Two times at blood drives, once after falling out of the van because my high heel got stuck (talk about embarrassing). Once, while sitting at a table doing math, yes math...it has that affect on me. Once, while watching a nurse change a knee bandage. I passed out during my job shadowing at Skaggs Hospital. That was even more embarrassing than the high heel.
After I realized what had happened and they put my feet in the air, this funny guy came over and told me that I should always make sure to eat. I smiled back at him.
I didn't go to lunch at the cafeteria because it just seemed to far to walk today. My sweet co-worker offered to drive me but I said no.
I love giving blood, knowing how badly someone needs it makes it all worth it. I don't, however, like the after effects of it. I did get a t-shirt! Although Red Cross never has smalls, I walked away with a medium. Maybe a gift for my daddy. :-)
God bless those who don't pass out.
"Relax, it's just a pinch"
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