Brothers

We just finished watching the movie, "Grace Card". It was actually really good. The acting isn't amazing or anything, but the message makes up for it all.
At the end of the movie they played this song.



The first song I ever heard by Toby Mac was "Made To Love" and I loved it. Everytime I hear it now I think of Josh. He had it on his mP3 player and made a CD for Emma so we could listen to his music.
When Josh, Em and I were in Fine Linen's production of "The Miracle Worker", rehearsals and piano lessons were on the same day. Josh and Emma would come pick me up and we'd head to Rolla right afterward. I always felt special because I got to go with them. They just seemed so much older than I was so anything they did was cool. But one of the things I remember most about that time was when Josh would tell me to hold my ears because he didn't want me to hear the song that was going to play next. He didn't want to corrupt my music tastes with what he listened too because he knew Dad and Mom probably wouldn't like it much. But it was always special to listen to his music with him late at night on the way home from rehearsal as he'd take extra caution on the curves, but would go through a stop sign so Em and I could feel what it was like. I don't know why, but those are some of my favorite memories with Josh. Breaking the law, listening to music my parents wouldn't approve of, and eating junk food that made my stomach hurt. But it was all so great. That was how Josh showed me he loved me and now that I'm older I realize how much he did and does love me. My brothers have a hard time telling me that they love me so instead they show it in bizarre ways. Daniel just takes me driving, buys me a Sonic sweet tea, and talks to me about whatever happens to be on his mind at the time. Stephen makes me tea and gets excited when we get to share a special desert in the afternoon. Jed tells me about how he's been taking care of Belle, and asks me if I like the song he's listening too. When I tell him that I do, he gets really excited. Sam loves it when I get excited about helping him do stuff outside and in return, he willingly finds the wheelbarrow so we can haul away weeds.
My brother Brandon will wake up extra early just so I can talk to my nephew for a few minutes before I have to go to work.
My brother Nathan takes me to Sonic late at night when we both need to get off campus. He orders cherry limeaids with extra real cherries and when we discover that we have 4 cherrys each, we're estatic.

I love my brothers. There's just something special about each of them and I know God has put each of them in my life for a reason. Each day I am amazed by how much each of them love me and try to protect me in their own little way.

I'm sitting on Stephen's bed drinking coffee my daddy made for me. My coffee is getting cold... luke warm coffee isn't very good at all.

One Thousand Gifts

I'm reading the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It's an encouraging reminder of how great our God is and how much we have to be thankful for.

"Everytime you feel in God's creatures something pleasing and attractive, do not let your attention be arrested by them alone, but, passing them by, transfer your thought to God and say: 'Oh my God, if They creations are so full of beauty, delight and joy, how infinitely more full of beauty, delight and joy are Though Thyself, Creator of all!'" ~Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain

Crazy Love

I'm reading a book by Fancis Chan called Crazy Love and there's a story in there about this actor. He was a small actor, in fact he only had 2/5ths of a seconds scene. Mr. Chan was comparing this 2/5ths of a second actor to our lives in God's world. He was referring to the verse, "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" James 4:13-14. Then he goes on to talk about how if our lives are only 2/5ths of a second in God's world, then wouldn't we want that percentage of a second to be filled with glorifying God? If we had one thing to show, wouldn't we want it to be completely revolved around God? This small actor playing in this large film is an extra... one in a thousand in a crowd of people. You see his hand, or the back of his head. He's playing in God's movie, yet he invites all of his friends to come watch him in "his" movie. Is this movie really about him? No, it's about God. He has 2/5ths of a second and he wants to make it about him, but really it's all about God.

I think Mr. Chan made an excellent point with this analogy. If you want to find out more about it, you should definitely get the book, Crazy Love. I've only read the first two chapters of it and as soon as I'm finished with this post, I'm going to read more. I just wanted to share this with you. We're only 2/5ths of a second in God's movie... why are we so concerned with how we look, what we wear, what we have... what should matter is whether we used those 2/5ths of a second to glorify God.

Summer Nights

My room is muggy... I think most of the cold air my air conditioner blows somehow escapes and goes outside because I don't feel anything cold in this little room.

I'm listening to Lecrae. I found a new song of theirs that I love. It's called "Far Away". He wrote it for Haiti.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rerU_NYwD8

"Far Away" ~ Lecrae

Far Far Away (You feel) Far Away. (You Seem) Far Away.. So So (x2)
Hopeless!
I can spell it
I can smell it in the air
Lotta people wonder if you still care
And are you still there
Cuz I dun lost it all
I keep calling your name
But do you hear my call
And are you still involved
Or am I left alone
I wander the streets
Cuz I no longer have a home
My brothers all GONE
My sisters all GONE
My families and my friends aint gonna be here in the Mornin
Ya see me hear mourning
They say you feel my pain
They say you went through it
Say to die is to gain
But I aint gain nothing
I lost everybody
Now Im losing my mind
And my faith is all Im counting
Im still holding on
Thats why Im still pray
Feelin empty inside
I cant make it through today
I dont know what else to do
I dont know what else to say
Im talking to ya now
But I promise you feel so far


Far Far Away (You feel) Far Away. (You Seem) Far Away.. So So (X4)

Dear hope: Been waitin on ya for a while now
Been cut so deep that I aint sure if I can smile now
Look at this devastation
Look at the pain and sorrow
Somebody fed me lies and promised me a bright tomorrow
I know the God I follow
Is bigger than disaster
Big enough to handle
Any evil that harasses us
But I feel like he passed us
Pain overtook us
Buildings tumble over head
As the ground shook us
God have you forsook us
Lord you still with me
I know you save souls
I trust you to forgive me
Relief can you hear me
Hey Rest can you get me
Hey Peace can you see me
Hey love can you heal me
I dont know what to do
I aint looking for answers
I just need you to hold my hand
Through this cancer
Tell me you never left
Even in the midst of death
Breathe on me I'll do anything to feel your Breath

Far Far Away (You feel) Far Away. (You Seem) Far Away.. So So (X4)
(PSALMS 62:5-8)
5. For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6. He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7. On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.

(Far far away.) Hes not (Far Away) No hes not (Far Away) Our Gods not Even though he seems

I think of Joplin when I read the lyrics. And my oldest brother...

Tonight my friends and I are going to Vintage Paris to hear Nathan's friend play Jazz. I think it will be fun. I'm really looking forward to having some good coffee. I really miss my Daddy and his coffee. And my sister and her coffee. There isn't anything like it. :-)

I can hardly wait for the weekend. We're going to First Baptist Branson for church on Sunday. I've really missed going there. It kinda feels like home when I'm there. My sister and I usually go together and we're taking Nathan with us this time. Unfortunately Dan has to work at the dairy this weekend, but I know he would love it. Daniel is a new person. :-) I love saying that. I could say it all day long. It always brings tears to my eyes as I know what a 'new person' is. It's so evident and everytime I'm around Daniel I see the joy of the Lord shining through him. Especially his eyes. I remember praying for Dan and asking God for the day that I would be able to see his eyes fill with the precious Light. I want to tell everyone. MY BIG BROTHER IS A NEW PERSON!!!!!!!!!!

June 1st-"Little Did He Know"

I really want to watch that movie, which I just forgot the name of...oh yes "Stranger Than Fiction". Amy loved that movie.
I'm sitting at work contemplating whether to do some more Medical Terminology, read my motorcycle book, or write a letter. All of those options sound like work to me, but it's better than nothing.
Earlier my boss said that we could watch reruns of "House" later this afternoon if we don't have anything to do. :-) I love working at the clinic. And not just for that reason. I love being able to help people and do things for them.

Today is Amy's birthday. My sister and I bought a 6 pack of Mountain Dews and two bags of skittles to celebrate. :-) I think Amy would be happy with our choices. She'd be 30 today. I wonder if she'd be upset to be turning 30. Of course with her cancer, she would be writing another Bebo post about making it to another birthday. :-) She was great about doing that. Emma and I are going to go do something special tonight. Hopefully we can get Daniel to come along and our friend Nathan. This is definitely something to celebrate. Amy has been with Jesus for 3 years, 8 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day. That's pretty awesome. I bet these last few years have seemed like seconds to her.

I woke up at 5:30am this morning to my annoying alarm clock that sounds like a kitchen timer. I slipped on my sneakers, turned my mp3 player on and started running down the camp road, hoping Foster wasn't locked when I got back. It wasn't long before I was huffing (That's what I get for taking a 6 month break) and had to start walking. It was beautiful out this morning. Fog was rising from the river as the sun was coming up. It was the perfect time to run. I was thinking about Amy as I ran and thanking God for the 30 years we've had her in our hearts, even if she wasn't here for almost 4 of them. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if Amy were here. Would be all be the same people we are today? Would we be worse, or better? But that doesn't matter because God had it all planned out this way. The perfect plan...

Happy Birthday, Ame. I love you!

Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preseveres. Love never fails." I Corinthians 14:4-8a

Tonight my co-worker looked over at me and said "Christi, I can't wait to meet your husband. He's going to be the sweetest guy ever." I wanted to say back, "I can't wait to meet him either." Which is true, but instead I simply replied, "I hope so."

We were talking about how dumb boys are because an aggie just walked her back to the clinic after a meeting. An aggie who happens to be 3 years older than her who most likely chews and drinks on a regular basis. She was grossed out. She doesn't understand why all of the aggies flock toward her. I have to admit that it is kind of weird, but she has an amazing personality and is a blast to hang out with.

Earlier that day I had asked her to think of something that would cause her to be scared or excite her so I could tell her what her sympathetic division does to her cardiovascular system. She used the example, "If an aggie asked me to marry him," and I promptly went into telling her how her heart rate would increase, increasing the stroke volume, and causing vasoconstriction in certain areas while causing vasodilation in other areas. We laughed about it a lot.

It's sad, but most of the aggies here are gross young men who think that drinking and chewing tabacco is cool. I don't really understand any of them. There are some who are just sweet gentlemen, but they're few and far between.

I think my dream of marrying a cowboy is diminishing.