"Concatenation"

I was trying to find a synonym for the word, "reunion" and this one popped up. It means "linked together; as in a chain". It's the absolule perfect word for my post tonight.
Coffee is brewing, my quilt is laying in front of me, and I have a good movie loading on Netflix. In my mind, it's the perfect way to spend a Sunday evening. It is exactly what I would be doing if it were two years ago. Except two years ago my heart was fighting for something God did not have planned for me. Two years ago is when Gary left. I know I've written about this story before, but I've been thinking about it today. Especially with my seeing Gary in just 10 short days.
I went to church at First Baptist Branson this morning. I love that church so much. I feel so at home and loved. The Pastor, Neil Franks, has been doing a series of sermons on "Who Do we Follow?". I've written about it before so I'll try not to be repetitive. Today he focused in on Luke 9:57-62.

"As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus [1] said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'"-Luke 9:57-62

I used to wonder why Jesus was so harsh with these people who wanted to follow him. Why wouldn't he let the man go bury his father? Why couldn't the other say goodbye to his family? But now, thanks to church today, I understand it. The whole point of Jesus doing this was to say, "Hey, do you treasure me about them? Am I first in line or are going to go wait for your father to die so that you can inherit all of his land...etc...etc.." Makes perfect sense, right? So I started thinking about my life and wondering if I also was like these men. Of course there are things I love. For example, the scene I described above is something I love and treasure. But do I hold it above God's word? Would I rather spend an evening sipping coffee and watching a movie than read and study God's Word, or sit and pray for a couple of hours. Honestly, I think I would be lying if I said no. I love reading my Bible, but I also love coffee and a movie together. Which do I think it a perfect way to spend an evening? I usually find excuses for my behavior. Something like, "Oh...I just am not in the right mood for that tonight and I would be doing wrong if I read my Bible with a bad attitude... blah, blah, blah..." I am so good at convincing myself to do wrong. I don't perceive it as wrong when I'm doing it. It's later that the guilt trip sets in. I realize when I'm laying in my bed at night how wasteful I spent my day.
You want to know what I've been doing today? Watching "Wives and Daughters" on Netflix while quilting and drinking tea. It's sounds lovely, right? But it's not truly the way I wanted to spend my afternoon.

Today I witnessed a baptism of a little boy, a rededication to God by an elderly woman, and a friend braving the front of the church to go kneel and pray before God. The last one really got me. It's this guy that we know and he's probably one of the most Christian young men I've ever met. I just want to sit and talk with him about his journey with Christ and all that he's learned along the way. It amazes me how much he loves God. I guess I just don't see that very often. Earlier this summer I got to see my big brother get baptized and I have to tell you that it was one of the most precious things I've ever seen. It always makes me cry to think about how much he is learning and how much he loves God. I pick up these little things he says and I can't help but smile. I've never seen him so happy and I know it's all because of God. Knowing that I will get to spend eternity with him brings me such joy.
I LOVE seeing God work in peoples lives and sometimes I wonder if His work is evident in my life. I pray it is. I pray each day that I will glorify Him with all that I do, but am I truly doing that?

This reunion with Gary is so exciting. I am SO thankful that I get to see him, even if it is only for a few hours. God is good to bring him back for that short of time. See, two years ago I was fighting for Gary. He was something God didn't want me to have. And you know why? Because I was putting Gary over God. I loved Gary more. I thought God wanted me to take care of Gary and I can't tell you how many times I questioned him saying, "Why did you bring Gary into my life, just to rip him away from me?" I didn't understand then that God was just trying to help me see how great He is and how much He loves me. As the calls between Gary and I got fewer and farther between a peice of my heart was taken away. I treasured those calls with Gary. They were pretty much what I lived for each day. For lack of a better word, I was so stupid! If I only knew what I know now. So many things would be different. But honestly, I don't think I would want them to be different. They are this way because God knows what's best for me. Through all of this I have learned so much. Each little thing that happened has led me to this point and I have to say that although there were many hardships, there have been more happy things in my life. They may be few but they're great. So, my life is a concatenation. Every piece of it linked together in some way or another. Each day a new chain link is added and each link has it's own story. It's kind of neat to think about. :-)

Anyway, the sermon today reminded me of two years ago and I wanted to share with you what I learned. Thanks for listening friends. Thanks to those who are living out God's truth and sharing your stories with me. I love each of you.

Night. :-)