"Excuses, Excuses..."

I wonder who invented the excuse. I'm not very fond of whoever did.

Last night I set my alarm for 5:30am so that I could get up and go running. I got my shoes out, my walkman, I was ready. So this morning I woke up to see that it was 5am. So, I decided that I'd sleep for another 30 minutes. And somehow within those 30 minutes I convinced myself that it would be too dangerous for me to get up and go running. Why? Well, let me tell you.

I really did want to get up and go running. I knew it would give me more energy throughout the day and that it'd just make the day better knowing that I had actually gotten some exercise. But then I started thinking about how it was still dark outside. And that reminded me of the drunk driver that had driven all over the track. Last Friday night a drunk guy busted through the Gates of Opportunity at 50mph. He was being persued by 6 Taney County Polic officers. He drove through campus and down onto the track and them rammed into the freshman lot gates. Then he jumped out of his car and put his hands behind his back.
I kept thinking of this as I was half asleep (my logic amazes me sometimes) and came up with the conclusion that I shouldn't go running because: what if that happened again and what if I didn't see them and ran right into their path.
All this to say, I didn't go running this morning.
Instead I slept an extra half hour in paranoia that roaches were crawling all over me. The exterminator came last week and there have been roaches all over my room. I will be glad to leave Foster dorm in a two more weeks.

All of this reminds me of something Pastor Neil said(FBC's pastor) on Sunday. We like to make excuses for ourselves so we don't sound so bad. He used the example of chocolate cake. You're on a diet and you know you shouldn't have cake... But then you go over to someones house and they offer you cake and in your mind you're trying to come up with a reason for having that cake. You tell yourself that the cook will be offended if you don't have any. Of you say, "Well, I didn't have any for breakfast, so I can have some now." I can't even tell you how many times I've done that. But usually it's with tea or coffee. "Well, I didn't have any yesterday and it's just so sunny outside, I should definitely have some tea." That just sounds ridiculous. But that's usually how I decide things. Instead I don't even think about how drinking too much tea could be bad for my health and could inable me from doing something that would give God more glory than drinking that tea. Why do I do this? I'm depraved. I'm a sinner. I like to make myself happy and I like to make excuses so I won't feel so bad about it later. I hate feeling guilty. I hate being told that I've done something wrong. So I make excuses. Being humble can be so hard sometimes.

So, this kind of goes back to the, "Who Do you Follow?" sermon from Sunday. FBC has been good for me. It has been a challenge to me, which I appreciate so much. I need to be challenged. I need to be told to go do something out of the ordinary and give it all to God.

College has been really good for me. Sometimes I get frustrated with things here and wonder why I even decided to come. Then I am reminded in some way or another and realize that God is telling me that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. It's hard to be away from your family and friends and missing out on the fun of being a kid. But we all have to grow up sometime. It's scary, being away from your parents and out from their constant guidance. But it's good.