Monday Evening...

Mondays aren't very fun for me... They start at 5:00am-5:30am and I'm on the go until at least 8:00pm that night. Can anyone say *bleck*? That may be a normal day for some people but compared to my old life, that's the busiest I've ever been.

After getting back in to routine today I realized something...life is not about keeping a routine. As I walked to the cafeteria to pick up my PB&J sac lunch for dinner, I was thinking about this little fact. I decided I wanted to break up my night a little bit. I texted Emma and asked her if we could have coffee tonight. Her best friend, Katie, sent us treats in the most creative thing I've ever seen. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it so you can see. Even the grumpy post lady liked it. :-)

When I get off work in 13 minutes I'm going to walk back to my room and hopefully Rachel Barnett will be sitting on my bed talking to Emma. Then I'm going to have coffee and eat something yummy with my sister and not even think about studying. Ha. Way to mix it up!

School days...

Nearer My God to Thee, Nearer to Thee!
Even though it be a cross that raiseth me;
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer to Thee.

Those like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'll be,
Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer to Thee.

There let the way appear, Steps unto Heaven;
All that Thou sendest me, In mercy given;
Angels to beckon me,
Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer to Thee.

Then, with my waking thoughts, bright with Thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs, Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be,
Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer to Thee.

Or if on joyful wing, cleaving the sky,
Sun moon and stars forgot, upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer my God to Thee, Nearer to Thee.


~Sarah F. Adams


This is one of my favorite hymns. For some reason it just gives me complete peace.



I had to come back to school today... I didn't really want to, although part of me was happy to get back to routine. There's always that feeling in the pit of your stomach as you drive through the "Gates of Opportunity". Being away for over a week was wonderful. It helped me refocus on the important things and renewed my strength. I was getting worn down.

Dad, Mom and Lizzie brought me back to school. Mom and Lizzie helped me carry my truckload of luggage up to my room on the fifth floor. Thankfully Mabee has an elevator.
I was met my a freezing cold room, only to find out that they switched over to summer, which means that we no longer have heat. :-( I was very sad. Especially since it's supposed to be very cold all week.
Now I'm sitting in my chair at my desk, sipping sleepy time tea, and eating dry cereal... Emma is already in bed so it's dark in our little room.

Tomorrow is a long day and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. But ready or not, here it comes. :-)

March and Tulips

Last week I went to Skaggs hospital in Branson to job shadow for a part of my application process to Armstrong/McDonald School of Nursing here at CofO. It was a painful experience, as I hadn't really been in a hospital setting since the Sunday before Amy died. From what I remember of that day, it was raining and cold. My family and I had taken over the waiting room. None of us were sure what to say to each other.
There's a particular sense you get when you are at a hospital. It's so unique and I'm not sure why. But as I walked onto the Surgical Unit on 4th floor, I was reminded of why I want to be a nurse. I want to be a nurse so that I can brighten some sick patient's day. This man started talking to me while I was waiting with him out in the hall. He started talking about how the nurses were just horrible and how they would treat him and his wife like they didn't know anything. It broke my heart. Nursing is a ministry... not a job. I spent the entire morning remembering Amy and thinking about why I want to be a nurse. Some of her nurses made her day a thousand times better, and some of her nurses made her day a thousand times worse.
My mom goes to a memorial service at Elis Fischel Cancer Center in Columbia each year. I went with them one time and one of Amy's nurses was there. She gave Mom the biggest hug. It was precious to see. I want to be that to the family of a cancer patient someday. I want to have that connection to them.

I came home later that afternoon, disgusted at what I saw from the nurses, to these sitting on my desk.



Emma got me tulips...



When March 10th hits, Amy will have been gone for 3 1/2 years. It's hard to believe its been that long since I've seen my big sister. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her how much I love her... and how much I miss her. She is the reason I want to be a nurse.